The other day, a question came up about Buddhism and enjoyment. Sometimes, if we read the literature on Buddhism, If we look at it from a one-sided point of view, it looks like Buddhism is always talking about suffering. But actually, the purpose of Buddhism is to get out of suffering. So in order to get out of suffering, you have to state the subject of what it is that you're getting out of. and what the causes are.

[01:06]

So, as I said, Buddha is called the Great Physician. Of course, he's not a physician. It's just a term. He diagnoses the problem and then gives the cure. So, may all beings be happy is what Buddhism is about, actually. May they live in safety and so forth. May they live happy and joyous lives. The problem is that it's hard to live a happy and joyous life continuously unless we understand what life is about.

[02:17]

Our practice is called various things. It's called, when we sit in Zazen, it's sometimes called Shikantaza, when we want to talk about just doing. And it's called Jijyu Zamae, Jijyu Samadhi, when we want to talk about the joyfulness of practice. GGU means self-joyous or self-fulfilling. When we have fulfillment, then we have joy. It also means self-joyous, but it has two meanings.

[03:38]

that one in zazen, or in practice, one goes inward and discovers the light of the self and enjoys that light. And the other side is that one faces outward and illuminates that light for others, so that others will also find the light within themselves. So, going inward and going outward are two aspects of Jiju-Yu Samadhi, which is the basis of our practice.

[04:43]

And this is what Zazen is about. Each one of us finds our own light and settles on the Self, maybe settles on the Self and opens up to that light, and that light permeates outward to all sentient beings. And this is called saving all beings. If we can't find that true joy within ourselves, it's pretty hard to give it to others. So we go, we break our neck, we squash our legs in order to squeeze out the juice.

[06:01]

True joy arises through wholeness. But we're always looking for it, impartiality. We feel if we could just get rid of these big problems, then we'd have a happy life. So we're always trying to get rid of one side in order to preserve the other side. This is called duality. We want to get rid of the bad stuff and have the good stuff. And it's like digging a hole in the sand. You keep digging, but the sand just keeps pouring in. We keep trying to put out the fires over here, and the fires are going over there. And then we turn around and put out the fires over there, and the fires over here are flaring up. And then we want to make everything around us very peaceful so that we don't get

[07:16]

But that's just a frustrating life, a life of frustration. It doesn't work. So we have to find our peace within ourselves. It's easy to be calm and happy when there are no big problems going on. But as soon as something happens, we lose our equanimity and we lose the calmness of our mind and we become a jungle of frustrations and agitation. Samadhi, actually, has many interpretations.

[08:39]

It means concentration in a general way, but in an applied way, it means imperturbability. Imperturbability. When one is in deep samadhi, nothing can overturn you. You are imperturbable. If you become insulted, it doesn't make any difference. If you are praised, it doesn't matter. If you gain something, it's okay. If you lose something, it's okay. Whatever. This is the samadhi of imperturbability.

[09:40]

Why? Because This self, this body, does not belong to me. This mind does not belong to me. There is imperturbability because there is realization that this self is not a self. So this is called perfect freedom. It's perfect freedom because there's nothing to gain and nothing to lose. Even though in the realm of gain and loss, one gains one, one loses one, we gain a self and we lose a self. So sitting in zazen is very difficult.

[10:55]

Not because we have a lot of pain in our legs, but because we're always wishing for something. So the Buddha says, Life is painful. And because it's painful, we suffer. And the reason is because we're always wishing for something. So this is the diagnosis. Within our pain, we suffer. Pain is an irrefutable fact of life.

[12:06]

And pleasure is an irrefutable fact of life. Because there is pain, there is pleasure. And because there is pleasure, there is pain. They create each other. Pleasure and suffering. Pain is just pain. Pleasure is just pleasure. Suffering is when you lose the pleasure and when you attach to the pain. Attachment goes both ways. We usually think that we're attached to pleasure. But I remember when I was sitting, Sashin and Suzuki Yoshi said, you are attached to your pain.

[13:10]

And I thought, how can I be attached to my pain? I want to get rid of it. Oh, yeah. Let's see. Because I want to get rid of it, I'm attached to it. So attachment goes both ways. Attachment to pleasure, attachment to pain. Samadhi is in the midst of pain just to be painful. In the midst of pleasure, just to have pleasure. Whatever comes. Oh, OK. So this is the samadhi of deep enjoyment, that you can actually enjoy whatever you're doing, wherever you are, whatever state arises.

[14:43]

We don't enjoy pain, usually, but that's not enjoyment. is one of the seven factors of enlightenment. Tranquility and enjoyment are two of the seven factors of enlightenment. One of the characteristics of enlightenment is joy. One of the characteristics of enlightenment is tranquility. Tranquility means to be at peace. without contention, without upset. Suzuki Roshi always talked about it as settled, settledness. To be settled, not to be agitated, not to be seeking after something, but to find

[15:54]

contentment right on this spot, whatever is going on, which means to let big mind be the boss. It's like a big ocean. and the waves. Big mind is like the big ocean and small mind is like the waves. And we get very caught up in the waves. We're always looking at the waves. They're beautiful and they're dynamic. The ocean's very deep, but it's very still. The deeper we go, the more still the ocean gets. But in that deep, deep ocean, the deep ocean is the source, the source of the light of our eyes.

[17:12]

Dogen says, when we swim in the ocean, We're swimming in the waves, but our feet are walking on the bottom. Our upper body is swimming within the waves, but our feet are walking on the bottom. No matter what the waves, no matter how much disturbance there is, our feet are always firmly planted on the bottom. in a deep ocean. Have you ever noticed seaweed? These big kelp beds on the ocean. Now the ocean moves and the kelp moves with the ocean. Whatever the waves do, the kelp does.

[18:23]

But the kelp goes way down. rooted way down deep in the ocean. If we resist the waves, it's called suffering. To move with the waves. You can't escape the waves. There's no escape from the waves. People try that. Many people try to escape from the waves, but you can't escape from the waves. That's not living life. So how to move with the wave? How to be one with the wave? In each wave, there's a poem, in each wave is the dragon's jewels.

[19:29]

the moonlight sparkling on the ocean. Glee, the word glee is an Irish word that means sparkling, the sparkles on the waves. In each wave are those little sparkles, the dragon's jewels. So even though we dive down deep into the ocean, we always have to come up for air, and we have to play. Samadhi is like playing, playful samadhi, actually, in the waves of the ocean without getting pulled under.

[20:39]

If you can do that, your life will be quite happy. Even though you have a lot of problems, trouble, pain, you can always smile through your pain. And when you finally reach the bottom, no matter what situation you're in, You always have a good disposition. instead of being always inundated by your problems, troubled by your problems, you'd be more focused on your happiness.

[22:03]

So happiness runs very deep like an underground river and is not really subject to conditions. Samadhi of happiness is not subject to conditions. It's your natural state of mind, deep state of mind, which cannot be covered over once you penetrate it. So in order to sit comfortably in zazen or in zishing,

[23:12]

we have to let go and let big mind sit on the cushion. Another term is the king of samadhis, samadhi. which includes all of the samadhis, and is total freedom. Of course, we're always being caught by something.

[24:22]

None of us are perfect. So we go back and forth. And sometimes we get stuck. Sometimes we get caught. Sometimes we get pulled away. Sometimes we forget what we're doing. But once you have the experience, you can always come back and find it again. Find yourself again. And it's like the mind in zazen, which is always running off after something. And then you bring it back over and over again. You bring it back. You keep returning to your true self. So, as you know, the Four Vows, the Four Bodhisattva Vows, are a response to the Four Noble Truths.

[25:37]

Beings are suffering, subject to suffering. That word suffering covers a lot of territory. Unsatisfactoriness. pain, having what we want. Not having what we want causes suffering. Having what we don't want causes suffering. Being with people that we don't want to be with causes suffering. Not being with people that we do want to be with causes suffering. These are some major causes. Old age, suffering. Sickness, suffering. So, Bodhisattva's response to that is, I vow to save all beings, all sentient beings, all living beings actually. Living beings is what we kind of decided on at the conference, rather than sentient.

[26:45]

Living beings is a term. So, we say, I vow to be one to awaken with. A kind of interpretation, literally, it's to save. So this is a kind of joyous response. Raising the desire to help all beings to be real or to be joyful. have joined their lives. So what is it that we save them from? We save them from suffering and confusion. I vow to save all beings from suffering and confusion. So we start with ourself. But you don't have to be enlightened before you can help all living beings.

[27:55]

The sixth ancestor says, It means to save the living beings within my own mind. The angry being, the resentful being, the avaricious being, and so forth, within my own mind. So we always have one person that we can work on. You can save all beings, all living beings, one at a time. Start with this one. And when you work on your own salvation, then you're helping all beings. That's a big help.

[28:58]

for all beings. If every single person took this vow and just worked to save one being, this one, everyone would be saved. Or at least we'd certainly have a different focus for life in this world. Instead of, I want to conquer all living beings, subjects subjugate all living beings, hate all living beings. So this is the bodhisattva response to the first noble truth. The second one is suffering is the cause. I mean, desire is the cause of suffering. So the second So the bodhisattva says, I vow to reduce my desires to what's necessary.

[30:07]

That's my interpretation. I vow to reduce my desires to what's necessary. Not get carried away by wanting what other people have. and needing so much that I have set the balance of my life and the lives of others. And by sharing the goods, rather than hoarding them, Because I know that what happens to other people affects myself. And what happens to me affects other people. So just by taking care of what's around me is what's necessary.

[31:14]

Because myself and my surroundings are myself. When I abstract myself from my surroundings and don't relate, that's like a ghost. The life of a ghost. I am only myself when I am in relation to my surroundings. Because there is no me. abstracted from my surroundings. And then the Buddha says, there is a way out.

[32:22]

There is a way to relieve suffering. And the Bodhisattva says, I vow to enter all those dharma gates that teach about that. I vow to educate myself about how to do this. That's the third vow. Enter all the dharma gates, no matter how many there are. I vow to study them all. And then the Buddha says, the way out is, the stereotype is the Eightfold Path. And the Bodhisattva says, well, I vow to become it. That's a very extreme way of saying it. There'd be one with it, actually.

[33:24]

But Eightfold Path, It's also six paramitas. It's all those studies of dharma, zazen. And by living this life of practice, you alleviate your suffering. At least you take the path of alleviating suffering for yourself and others. And this brings, this is called the joyful path, the path of great joy. Out of suffering and into joyfulness, deep penetrating joy. which cannot be stamped out by circumstances unless you go the wrong way and your karma hits you over the head.

[34:44]

But if you actually follow the path and diligently and get to the bottom where you're living a life of non-duality, your life will always be joyful, no matter what condition the waves are in. No matter how tangled up you get in the waves. It's like the cat. When you throw the cat, he always lands on his feet. Suzuki Roshi used to say, if you can do this, you will always beat the boss, wherever you are. No one will be able to turn you around. So, this is why we sit sat down.

[36:09]

This is why we do this strange thing called sashim. Why am I doing this? Yes, Paul? You said the self doesn't really exist. I said the self... I said the self that exists is not a self. When we take refuge in Buddha, is that in a sense a larger self? Taking refuge in Buddha is becoming one with Big Mind. Buddha shows us how to become one with the big mind.

[37:29]

Yeah, Buddha shows us that. That's Buddha's... Buddha's appear in the world in order to show us that. So, best ways to be a good example. I just wanted to... share an anecdote that seems very relevant to what you're talking about. My daughter lives in Hawaii with her dad and stepmother. And before she went, she was reading a book on weather. And she wrote about storms in the ocean. And it waved in Japan, tsunami waves. And she became quite frightened, which is kind of unlike her, about running into one of these waves when she was in Hawaii. And I was encouraging her to make sure she had supervision when she was in the water, but she was telling me that she probably wouldn't.

[38:33]

So I didn't really know what to do. I just tried to be cool. So I got a call from her, and she said she was having a great time. And she said, except for what happened the other day. I said, what happened? She said, well, I was in the ocean, and a speaker wave came up. And she said, my dad was asleep on the beach, and my stepmom She said, well, she said, I just dug my feet into the sand, and I started counting. And I counted to 50, and it was over. She took a friend. I mean, I then said, well, I hope you won't do that again. I didn't get it. And took a friend to say, look how she saw. Put her, planted her feet down at the bottom of the ocean. Did you want something, Andrea? Well, you know, I believe what you say.

[39:35]

Are you sure? It can take a really long time. Years. And it seems like there's this natural process that we go through in our lives, like, you know, in our 20s. It just seems like you just get worn down after a while. And then, you know, the older I get, the easier it gets. But it wasn't so easy before. It can be a matter of being worn down. Some rocks crack and others get worn down. That's the way it is. It's nice to get worn down. Rocks that have been in the river for a long time, they've rolled and rolled, and they've, you know, season after season, they're just beautiful, you know? They're very jagged when they fall into the stream, but they're very beautiful after years of rolling around.

[40:47]

And, you know, this is a metaphor for our practice, too. Each one of us is like a stone. And we rove up against each other, you know, and wear off the rough edges. And then you begin to see the quality in our old Zen students. The rough edges worn down. Well, sort of following up on that, you know, the energy that we have in our 20s issue a question that's very live for me and seems to have been live for me from about the age of seven.

[42:14]

It's called Lack and Transcendence. It's about Zen existentialism and psychoanalysis and it's talking about the fundamental fear being fear of death. I'm not so sure that that just wears away. Well, I think it... I mean, I think when you talk about the energy, let me just finish, when you talk about the energy, the energy in your 20s, and as you get older, actually, and you're approaching, you know, as you get older, that the issue comes more into focus. Right, but I think it also transforms. And I think that people, when they get older, it's not such a big deal as when you're younger.

[43:17]

And, you know, if you see some really old people, their lives are just kind of going on and on. But there's no, you know, it's not, energetic, so to speak. They don't have the same desires, you know, that people do when they're young, or the same outlook. And they look forward, actually, to meeting their demise. When we're young, you don't, you know, you think, God, that's strange, you know. But when you get older, there's a certain point what you're going up. And then there's a leveling off maybe, and then there's a going down the other way, because your life is no longer in progress. Our lives, you know, as long as we have interest, our lives are in progress.

[44:29]

But there comes a point when, in older people, where they're no longer progressing. That progress is not going, moving. And then they see their life is going out. They're on the way out. And that's the point, a very interesting point, where the only thing to do really is go with that. Some people put on the brakes and resist it, but it doesn't help. And others just look forward to While we're young, we don't look forward to doing that. As long as we've got something going, we don't. But even though when we get older, even though we still have interest, it doesn't become as much of a big deal as when we're younger, for most people.

[45:31]

Well, maybe it becomes more of a big deal But I do know about the feeling of time running out and there's still one's work. And that's not really, it seems to me, considered a part of this practice. Rarely is there a reference, as far as I can tell, to the wisdom of choosing. wants work, or the right ways to explore. And it seems that that, it isn't, obviously you're not suggesting that this is a passive thing, that we just take whatever ways come our way, we choose.

[46:39]

And, I mean, you made a choice. And so death, or the sudden imminence of temporal departure, to me creates anxiety only in the sense that there are things still to accomplish, to bring to some fruition. Right, as long as we have interest. Also, I think we choose our ocean, but we don't choose the waves. The waves are the conditions that are not caused by my actions directly. But I do choose the environment.

[47:42]

I choose to be a priest, right? So that's my ocean. And then the waves from that ocean I just have to ride with. But it's different with every person, you know. You can't say all people like this think this way or that way. Every person has to come to this place where we go into the the dying process. Of course, some people it's like this, you know, but if you have a process, at some point you have to face the process and each one of us has to do that in some way, you know. Hillary? I've worked with so many people who are dying, probably hundreds and hundreds. Can't hear you. I've worked with so many people who are dying, probably hundreds.

[48:49]

Hundreds of people that are dying? Yes. And I've worked with some pretty old people. How old? And I don't think so. You know, I think people will say, when they're basically doing okay, oh I wish death would come, because it's like an aversion to life. It's the same old thing. You just don't want what's going on. So when you're older, that becomes a real option, right? Well, it's always an option for some. But when you're older, it's a real option, right? I just wish I were dead. But when the time actually comes, it's a really different story. And I'll tell you, people will fight for their life. It's amazing. And, I mean, it's a tremendous teacher. But, you know, it's like, it's just all the things are still there.

[49:50]

And if there isn't any kind of working with it or transformation, it's just all there. It just stays there. Right. Right. So, everybody, more or less, clutches to it, right? And at the same time that we, and we should, you know, we should want to live and not want to die, but at the same time we're dying. So that's the big goal, you know? How to die when you don't want to die. How to let go when you don't want to let go. Yes, so it's both there together. But time is running out. We have to continue this discussion later.

[50:51]

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