Yesterday someone said to me that it was hard for them to find peace of mind. Rather straightforward, innocent kind of thing to say. And so I was reminded of the dialogue between Bodhidharma and Eka, Taiso Eka, the very famous, maybe the most famous Zen story, where Eka asks Bodhidharma to pacify his mind.

[01:25]

I'm sure you all know that story. I'll read the story. This case appears as number 41 in the Mumon-kan. Incidentally, there's a, the Mumon, this Shipeyama, Roshi's translation and commentary, or his commentary of the Mumonkan, has recently been republished in a paperback, and it's ten dollars, and it's very good reprinting because it is exactly the same size and format as the old one, as the hardback. So it's very easy to read, as far as So I urge you to rush down and buy a copy.

[02:32]

And study it. The koan is Bodhidharma sat in Zazen facing the wall. The second patriarch, Eka, who had been standing in the snow cut off his arm and said, your disciple's mind is not yet at peace. I beg you, my teacher, please give it peace. Bodhidharma said, bring the mind to me and I will set it at rest. The second patriarch said, I have searched for the mind and it is finally unattainable, unattainable. Bodhidharma said, I have thoroughly set it at rest for you. In his commentary, he says, the broken-toothed old foreigner proudly came over, that's Bodhidharma, a hundred thousand miles across the sea.

[03:42]

This was as if he were raising waves where there was no wind. Toward his end, Bodhidharma could enlighten only one disciple, but even he was crippled. Shasanro does not even know four characters. I'll talk about that. And then Mumon gives a poem. He says, coming from the West and directly pointing, this great affair was caused by the transmission. The troublemaker who created a stir in Zen circles is, after all, you. As we know, Bodhidharma when he came over to China from India in the 6th century, middle of the 6th century, really helped to turn Buddhism around in China and seemed to be the catalytic element, his teaching seemed to be the catalytic element which helped the Chinese

[04:55]

to find their own way in Buddhism, rather than depending upon just the scriptures of the Indian monks. And he was supposed to have been almost 150 when he came to China. That's pretty old. I don't know if he was or not, but that's the story. And anyone that's that old, you know, is quite venerable, even if they're not a Zen master. Joshu was supposed to have lived to be 120, and he's next after Bodhidharma, as far as veneration goes. So when Bodhidharma came to China, He met Emperor Wu, who was the Buddhist emperor at that time, and who really wanted to see him, but they didn't hit it off so well together.

[06:04]

Emperor Wu wasn't quite ready for Bodhidharma, and so Bodhidharma went to live in the Shaolin Monastery, and he did zazen for nine or ten years, for some period of time, by himself, and he had several disciples. And Eka, was one of his disciples, his main disciple, it turned out. And Eka was quite a sincere person and he'd studied Taoist texts and Confucianism and When he was quite young, he became interested in Buddhism and he was ordained as a monk. But he was not quite satisfied with the scholastic Buddhism that was prevalent in China at the time. And when Bodhidharma came to China and he heard about him, he became his student.

[07:15]

So before this conversation took place, this dialogue, they already had a relationship. And they studied together for quite some time, although apparently Bodhidharma didn't talk too much about practice. He was the kind of person who indicated and gave you something to work on and then left you alone. I think that's the kind of teacher Bodhidharma was. There are teachers like that who don't pay too much attention to you in the usual way, but they'll give you some good problem and then they'll send you away to work on the problem. But you have to be a very good student to work that way with a teacher, because you have to know that that's what you're doing.

[08:24]

If you don't know that that's what you're doing, then you'll think that there's nothing happening and you'll turn somewhere else. So if a good teacher has a good student, the teacher can give the student the fundamental problem and then kick the student out. And then the student will come back. And the teacher will continue the process. Suzuki Roshi used to talk about, when the teacher says, get out of here, you shouldn't take it literally. If you take it literally, you leave, and that's not what a teacher means. Usually, a teacher means, get out and find your way, but don't leave.

[09:29]

That's the kind of relationship that Bodhidharma and Eka had. One day Eka came back to see Bodhidharma, who was sitting in his temple doing zazen, and Eka wanted to talk to Bodhidharma. And he wanted Bodhidharma to, he said, please help people to find the way, you know. And Bodhidharma didn't pay much attention to him. And so Eka just stood there outside the temple and started snowing. And Bodhidharma really only accepted really sincere students.

[10:44]

There are a lot of teachers, Zen teachers, who only have a very few students. And they only accept students that are very dedicated or very sincere. And Bodhidharma was that type. He didn't want to be bothered with people who weren't sincere, so he was always testing them, always testing his students as to their sincerity. And so Eka stood outside the temple, and it started snowing. And he stood there all night, and the snow was up around his... somewhere, you know. He was getting pretty cold and miserable. And Bodhidharma really wouldn't pay any attention to him. I think this is driving the student too far. But, so Eka at one point took out his knife and cut off his arm up to about here and came in to Bodhidharma and said, look, you know, this is sincerity.

[12:00]

And Bodhidharma said, hmm. He said, even so, my mind is still not pacified. It's not finally pacified. And Bodhidharma said, well, bring me your mind, show me your mind, bring it forth, and I'll pacify it for you. And Nagarjuna said, I can't bring it forth, I can't grasp it. And Bodhidharma said, there, your mind is pacified. But Bodhidharma accepted him totally at that point, because he was so sincere. I don't recommend this kind of extreme behavior. But there's a point to the story. We always kind of wonder at this story.

[13:10]

It puts us on the edge. The story, it points to several things. One thing it points to is if you really want something, if you really want something very badly, then you have to give up something in order to have it. One of the problems that we have, especially in our day and age, is that we want to have everything. without giving up anything to have it. Things are very accessible to us. They're right here. If we want something, there's so much that's accessible to us.

[14:13]

It's just right there. All you have to do is reach out for it. You don't even have to go very far to get it. But enlightenment or realization is not so. Easy. It's accessible. It's right there, even closer than those things that are so pushed out. But it's so accessible and so easy that it makes it difficult. It's easy. Ease and accessibility is also its difficulty. It's right there, closer than anything. But in order to get it, we have to give up everything else. In China, a lot of people took this story literally, quite literally, and a lot of Chinese monks in the history of Buddhism in China, it was popular at certain times to cut off a finger in order to show your sincerity.

[15:20]

And even to this day, a lot of Chinese monks burn little punks into their head from time to time and when they get ordained. It's kind of an extreme token austerity. But the real giving up or the real austerity is not done in that way. We should have a sincere way-seeking mind. We should arouse a sincere way-seeking mind. Otherwise, all of our practice doesn't mean so much. And we should have some dedication to what we're doing. And the more we penetrate or become aware of the meaning of practice and enlightenment, the less attached we have to be, the less attached we become to things.

[16:40]

At some point, you know, we have to give away everything. It's actually true. In order to have anything in a real sense, we have to give away everything, give up everything. Once you can give up everything, then you can have whatever you have. At some point, it's good to give away everything and see what comes back to you. You don't have anything. As a layperson, you live in the world amidst family and friends and relations and objects and possessions. But at the same time, it's necessary to realize that none of this belongs to you.

[17:58]

It's okay to have it. We should have something, but it's not ours. If we have this attitude and that understanding, real understanding, then you can live your life in the world among family, friends, and possessions, and objects, and dreams. But without attachment. So we have to learn about what is not attachment. We have to realize that nothing really belongs to us. And it's easier when we realize the nature of what exists and what doesn't exist and the nature of what form really is and what emptiness is.

[19:11]

So How do we pacify our mind? How do we come to have a peaceful mind, or a mind that is at rest? Peace of mind is kind of cliché. So, when we talk about a mind at rest, it's a little different than peace of mind.

[20:12]

in the usual sense. In our Zen practice we don't exactly look for peace of mind in the usual sense, but we penetrate mind, let go of the peace and just take hold of the mind. What is mind? In the Diamond Sutra it says Past mind, future mind, and present mind are all ungraspable. In other words, everything already is in the state of a dream. Each moment is already past.

[21:16]

can't get a hold of it. But yet, right now is the present. But this present is always present. Every moment we say, the present, or right now, right now. But that right now is no longer this right now. Or is it? So this is a little bit tricky to understand sometimes. In a world where past mind, future mind, and present mind are ungraspable, how do we find mind

[22:21]

one and two, how do we find some ease or peace? In Buddhism, we always say that everything is completely at rest. Everything is completely still. No matter how much activity is going on,

[23:26]

or how much things are moving around, everything is completely still. That's difficult to deal with. And even though everything is completely still, everything is completely moving around, constantly moving. There's nothing that's not constantly moving. As a matter of fact, if you penetrate into the constantly movingness of things, you'll find that there is no thing. There's only stillness in motion. So in order to become aware of our mind, or aware of mind, our mind, our is a little extra, become aware of mind, penetrate into mind, we sit zazen.

[24:46]

And when we sit zazen, we limit our thought process. to just the activity itself, zazen. Just limit your thought process to this moment. But even so, even though we limit our thought process and our activity to just this most limited activity, past mind, future mind, and present mind are still ungraspable. So, zazen is the most restricted kind of activity that we can do. You sit in a completely unmoving body and unmoving mind.

[25:56]

No moving. And pretty soon your body starts to hurt, and sometimes your mind starts to hurt. And in this completely unmoving movement, you're totally immersed in mind. It's just, we call sushi embracing mind or gathering mind, stilling the waves. Our usual life is like a choppy sea. And in zazen, the sea calms down. And then all the dust settles down. pretty soon become very clear. Mind becomes very transparent, very clear.

[27:02]

And all the movements of mind, all the subtle movements of mind become very crisp and magnified. when our mind becomes very sensitive. And at some point you know that you can let go of all thoughts. It's possible to let go of all thinking. But yet, thinking still continues. there's something that thinks.

[28:09]

And when you allow yourself to experience this mind without waves our experience of mind becomes much, much greater. But we should realize that the waves are also the mind. Waves and stillness are the same. motion and stillness are the same. Motion is the motion of stillness and stillness is the stillness of motion.

[29:18]

We get ourselves into many complicated positions through the motions of our mind. And when we stop the motion we can enjoy just stillness, natural stillness of mind, natural order of mind, before anything arises. But if we want to put ourselves in that position, we have to have some sincere effort. really sincere effort. You can't give up when it gets difficult. You have to see it through, all the way through to the bottom. But if you want something, whatever it is, you know, has its price.

[30:29]

And the price of clearly seeing into the mind is sincere effort. And enduring what's difficult to endure. wonderful and for some of us very difficult, for most of us difficult. Five days is even more difficult and seven days is even more difficult. Next month we have five days a week. But even though it's difficult, even though it's hard, there's some wonderful indescribable feeling that we have because of that effort.

[31:48]

Truly, the more difficulty you have and persevere through the difficulty, the more rewarding is your effort There are two things that we should keep in mind. One is that we should put forth our very best effort. And the other point is that we should be careful not to work too hard. If you underdo it, it won't work. And if you overdo it, you get tired out.

[32:50]

So always, we have to find the balance between complete involvement, complete effort, and knowing when you're pushing too hard. And it shows up in the way we sit zazen. that you should keep your body in correct posture with good constant effort. But if it's too much, you get tense and tired and it won't help. So ideally, you should be able to sit in zazen with perfect posture through a period of zazen and at the end to just walk out of the posture because you're so well balanced.

[33:59]

That's what you should be looking for in zazen, that complete balance of everything. your whole body and mind. That's why in a long sasheen, even though it gets more and more difficult on one hand, it gets easier on the other. Because your mind and body become more and more well-balanced in order to accept the difficulty that increases. So at some point, you're able to completely open yourself. without holding back or without self-defense.

[35:12]

Self-defense is one of the most critical barriers that we have to go through. And self-defense comes up in such subtle ways that we don't even know that it's self-defense. It's defending ourselves, you know, against what's happening. And the only way to exist is to completely accept what's happening. Otherwise, it's impossible to sit for a long period of time, to really merge with body and mind totally. So peace of mind, peaceful mind, or composed mind, composure of body and mind.

[36:25]

We don't talk about mind as separate from body. So body, mind, composure. is the thread that runs through our sasheen and is the thread that runs through our whole life when we practice. So events come and go, feelings come and go, thoughts come and go, delusion, enlightenment come and go, but a thread of immovability is always constant. But you can't put your finger on it because it's not a thing. It's being in the present, accepting

[37:33]

without hesitation, moment after moment. We don't have time for questions today. At that time, whatever we're doing, we don't give it any special importance. So when Yueshan was sitting Zazen, and Yaxuan says, what are you doing?

[38:50]

So excuse me, when Chertou says, what are you doing? Yueshan didn't say, you know, shut up. I'm sitting Zazen. Don't you see? Don't disturb me. Go away. Last month in San Francisco Zen Center, we had a seven-day session, seven-day period of sitting zazen all day. So we were in the Zendo throughout the day, except we came upstairs for service in the Buddha Hall.

[39:56]

And when we came upstairs, sometimes there might be some visitor or someone else in the hallway. And because we were sitting sashaying, we probably wouldn't get involved in some conversation with visitors. But that doesn't mean that we have to walk by them and ignore them without acknowledging them in some way. Thinking that we're doing something more important And while we were sitting in the Zendo, a couple of kids, some kids, were riding a skateboard up and down in the alley.

[41:15]

Not one of these new skateboards, you know, with the fiberglass wheels that are quiet. One of the old type, you know, that draw with ball bearings. It goes down the street, back and forth. And no one got up and went outside and said, we're sitting in Zazen, please don't ride a skateboard. So in Buddhism we have Bodhisattva's vow, which we chant here after lecture.

[42:22]

It begins, sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them. So the bodhisattvas vow to save all beings. But in our usual activity, our ordinary busy activity, we get involved going along some narrow path. And we cut others off and keep them some distance. So that is why this practice is so helpful for me and each one of us.

[43:43]

even though when we're actually doing it, it's nothing special. Still, at the same time, in order to fulfill our bodhisattva vow, it's so important. Well, I've been talking quite a while. Please feel free to change your legs if you like. And if you have some questions or something that you'd like to bring up, please Feel free. I was once chi-sha for Chino-sensei when he came to visit Tassaha.

[45:54]

And he was going to lead a service, so I was carrying incense behind him as we were walking to the zendo. And he had been there before. He knows how to go to the zendo. So I just followed him. But he didn't go directly to the zendo. The Han was hitting and they were waiting for him to come, but he went up to the garden and looked around. Eventually we got there. It was okay. So in the spirit of the Berkeley Zen Center practice, he wanted to do his practice on the same schedule?

[47:44]

Is he? Yeah, I don't know. He was practicing in his own way. So the question for me is, I hear I think probably if they were skateboarding in the Zendo, someone would say something. Probably pretty quickly. You know, it's funny, noise and during Zazen, I don't know, the drum, constant drumming all day long may be difficult.

[48:58]

I think the thing that's most difficult is if someone knows that you're being quiet, knows the type of practice you're doing, and and is making noise, because then you think that they're not being conscious in what they're doing. Anyway, I think it depends on what the people that are actually sitting there feel. And if it's disturbing, then there are various ways of trying to work it out. But most noises, anyway, are usually not so disturbing.

[50:07]

You don't tell the plane and the horn that beeped out there. Get out of... We're in the Zendo. Stay away. I'm thinking of the Suzuki Roshi saying, just as you are, it's all right. But for a lot of people, just as you are, the desire to do better, to be better, is so much a part of what we are, that that's what we are, is wanting to do better. So how do you strike the balance between that self-acceptance of being just as you are and still wanting to do better? Well, one way is At the moment that you are trying to do something better You know at that moment you're just completely trying to do something better You're you know you're

[51:39]

If you take on some practice saying that I want to have more discipline in my life. I want to get up at a certain time every morning. There's some time when you decide that. Then you're just deciding that and you're completely present in making that decision. You don't have to compare, well, this morning I did this and the other morning I slept in and I felt lousy. Another moment you might think, well, this was my experience then. But you don't always have to compare from one moment to the next.

[52:48]

Each moment has its own integrity. And, you know, after you make some, but one practice actually that's I think related that I found helpful, something that Baker Roshi mentioned about intention. He said to intend what you do and do what you intend. He wasn't necessarily the best example of that teaching, but anyway, I found it pretty useful because

[53:50]

Um, to do what you intend means to, uh, you know, have, have some intention first that I'm going to get up at four 30 in the morning and then to actually do it. Uh, To intend what you do means that when you get up at 4.30 in the morning, you don't sort of fight yourself. You just completely do it. You bring your intention fully into what you're actually doing, because what you're actually doing, whatever it is, is the result of your intention. It is your intention. So bring your full intention into actually doing it. And if you find it's difficult to bring your full intention into it, then maybe it's not what you fully intend.

[55:08]

Maybe it's not realistic. It doesn't work with other parts of your life. so you can readjust your intention. Does that help? If I genuinely want to My mind and body are very stiff and sluggish and it takes me an hour or two to get up to speed so that I genuinely have full intention. How can I have full intention at 4.30 in the morning? By being completely one with your sluggishness.

[56:11]

To recognize the state of mind you're in and not trying to be somewhere else. If you practice doing that, your state of mind might change. It's always going to change, but staying with it is the practice. Maybe one more? Could you talk a little bit about the activity of listening to a lecture? I mean, when I listen to a lecture, I go back and forth between

[57:19]

Just listening. And then my imagination begins to work, and there's a feeling of busyness. But on the other hand, that is a way of participating. I mean, maybe the activity is just going back and forth between those two states. I don't know. That's an interesting topic. Did everyone hear her question? Could you say it a little louder? I wonder if you would talk a little bit about the activity of listening to a lecture and just listening to what's being said as opposed to letting your imagination go with what's being said and participating in some way. You know, Buddhist lecture is not supposed to be so intellectual, so you don't have to remember, trying to remember all the points or see how they check out with other things.

[58:52]

You can do that. But also, there's just some sound and some sights. And various experiences that we, mental experiences that we each have. Actually, right now, my feeling is what you described as going back and forth, I think is quite useful practice to be able to go back and forth without getting lost.

[59:57]

Sometimes it's a feeling that you know, you're going along some train of thought and you go off a ways then, wow, you know, the lecture's still going on and the last few things that were said, that's okay too, but that process of going back and forth, without getting too caught. Or you can experiment how long you go. But that going back and forth is

[60:43]

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