Even in a hundred thousand million Kalpas, having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of Takatha's words. Good morning, everyone. Good morning. I'm here in the room. Folks on Zoom, can you hear me okay out there? They can't respond, but yes. Okay. They responded. Well, can you believe it? Here we are on day five of our 2024 Hot City Sashim. And I have a request. Put that in gallery view. I was gonna say seeing myself on the screen.

[01:11]

Feels like looking in the mirror, but then again, feels like looking in the mirror. On day five, it feels to me like a tender day. It's a softening time. in the flow of Sashin. Unless, of course, it's day one for you, if you've just arrived, or things can happen on day five. If you've been here the whole time, but either way, here we are, and we're showing up for... There's a... palpable gentleness among us and it's paired with fragility notice that that might be showing up for you gentleness and fragility

[02:27]

And of course, with our beloved abbot, Hosan Roshi. And we are enacting in this very moment together what he calls cooperation. Which is his understanding of the teaching of Dogen Zenji's one he spoke to. just about two weeks ago. And of course, he has a whole book about it, the Bodhisattvas Embrace, and lots of talks. But that particular teaching is relevant right now, this cooperation, because that teaching of Dogen's, it offers guidance for how you and I embrace and are embraced. activity of waking up together.

[03:50]

And what are we waking up to anyway? We are waking up to the essence of that embrace, which is our mutuality, which is none other than intimacy. And that word, intimate, appears a lot in Zen literature. What's important is how it's landing for each of us right now. And since what we commemorate during Rahatsu worldwide is Shakyamuni Buddha's awakening, A story from his journey headed towards the Bodhi tree came to me as I was really sitting with this embrace.

[04:59]

What's it got to do with fragility, mutuality? Thus have I heard. Once upon a time, there was this pivotal moment in Shakyamuni's, how shall we say, his struggle. Struggle to awaken. And the struggle to what is this suffering, and what to do about it. What's important about it? What is it revealing about our life? And so, probably not unfamiliar on day five of Sashim, you might relate in a particularly fresh way

[06:15]

to that pivotal moment where Shakyamun is absolutely wiped out. He is exhausted. He's emaciated. Now, you might feel well-fed from our wonderful food this week, but there are all kinds of hungers. There's a heart hunger, mind hunger, for instance. But in that story, it's presented as eating very little. And why? Because every possible avenue that comes his way to find liberation from this suffering, The image is of a cart where the axle and the wheel are misaligned.

[07:21]

It just keeps going. And you can imagine that after traveling like that, you might be exhausted, right? You're done, except You're still on there. It's still going like this. So what are you going to do? You're going to start to feel really fragile. And he's got nowhere to go. So what does he do? He basically collapses. You could say he falls to the ground. And there he is. And what are the odds that a young woman should be walking by? And this is really important.

[08:22]

Just happens to be on her way, going about whatever she does in a day. She stops and she notices. Not only that, she responds. And there are so many aspects to the tale of the Buddha's awakening that it's really interesting. You know, like any story, a story that you revisit, maybe a story from your own life, right? That might be . And yet it's fresh in that it's coming up now. And what's coming up in the story? is going to be a little different because it's something that's actually percolating, that's actually up for you or for me. And so this aspect of the story that she notices and she sees what's going on and she looks to what she has on hand

[09:39]

a little bit of milk, a little bit of rice. And she offers it to him, and also important, because remember, he's been like, go, go, go, I'm going to like, go, go, power through this somehow, you might imagine. But being fragile like that, And in the intimacy of that encounter, the warmth of that, the aliveness of that, he accepts it. Not so easy, but he does. He just somehow recognizes something. And that's a pivotal moment. And what I love about that story, first of all, is that what she offers him is simple food, right? It's nothing fancy. when he receives it, their mutuality is so clear, so intimate.

[10:53]

Without her, if you think about it, there's no awakening. Without him, there's no offering. You could say there's no merit. But really, what it is, is without them both, without that interplay, there's no embrace. But lucky for everyone, there is. And just imagine, it happens on the ground. So how do we ease into a moment like that ourselves? Linda had brought in a few days ago this quote by Laurie Anderson about falling and walking.

[11:56]

Falling when you walk and you catch yourself. And you planted this seed about falling. And I remembered this time that I was fluffing my my cushion, my zafu after zazen and was here and noticed what I was doing, which is I was really like pushing on it, pushing and then turning, pushing and turning, pushing and turning. And these are the kapok. so the pipa cotton cushions. And he corrected me. He said, oh, you're working too hard. Just fall into it.

[12:57]

Let gravity support you. And then he showed me that dawn. And he just, just like he said, he just fell into it. And then a slight effort to be upright. And just being with him as he was doing that, I could feel that. And I could feel that like a rocking chair, which is very soothing. It's also very natural, you know, you likely have noticed or might have been pointed out to you as an instruction that, you know, each time you breathe, the pelvis rocks gently.

[13:59]

And sometimes, you know, when very anxious, you can just notice that. You can put your attention in that gentle rocking. or when you're standing around waiting and getting impatient, you can also rock on your feet. See the rock on your feet. And that was a moment of embrace. Sojin Roshi is one of our ancestors. And he's here with us. Because what we discover in such a moment of embrace is that our ancestors are here now.

[15:12]

waking up through us, their compassion, their embrace is available, and it's available to comfort us, if we need comfort us, comforting, and to challenge us, if we need challenging whatever is needed, right? Someone told me recently that a lot of American culture finds the word faith a bit challenging for a lot of reasons. And so sometimes people switch out the word trust, but trust has its own issues. So someone suggested Well, think for a moment what you have confidence in.

[16:19]

So we have confidence in Zazen. We have confidence in our ancestors. And we have confidence in our practice. So in a moment where you're feeling fragile or you witness someone who seems to be fragile, what's going to be helpful in this practice? Again, what are we really waking up to in our mutuality? Well, let's stay with this falling to the ground. for a moment with another story of another ancestor, Ling Zhao, one of our women ancestors.

[17:34]

And she's part of a wonderful family of Chinese, who we've studied many times. This is China, eighth century. And this particular story is called Ling Zhao's Helping, and it's from a wonderful book, spoken from before, edited by Florence Keplow and Susan Moon, The Hidden Lamp, stories from 25 centuries of awakened women. And each one of these stories also includes commentary by a contemporary woman teacher. Version of Thus Have I Heard. One day, Layman Peng and his daughter, Ling Zhao, were out selling bamboo baskets. Coming down off a ridge, the layman stumbled and fell.

[18:35]

When Ling Zhao saw this, she ran and threw herself to the ground. What are you doing? cried the layman. I saw you fall, so I'm hoping, replied the angel. Luckily, no one was looking. No one's looking because there's no separation. It's a live moment. Just like shocking money and the woman engaged. And what I really love about this particular story is they've got a little bit of a playful tussle going on, which is very characteristic of this family. It's also very characteristic of our entire lineage, our Dharma family.

[19:39]

A representation of that is in the community room in a, I forget what, what the form is called. It always reminds me of a wooden jigsaw puzzle. Does anyone know the name of that style of painting? It's right by the bathroom in the community room. There's an image of two Zen students, shall we say, in a lively moment. And they're both kind of laughing in an interchange. So I picture it like that. It's a playful tussle. and challenging each other to bring forth the Dharma and help the situation. And they're both being vulnerable with a deep confidence in their mutuality. And this reminds me very much of a wonderful verse, Dongshan, another of our ancestors.

[20:43]

also spoken of this week, and in Japanese known as Tozan, so the To in Soto. And it's pretty well known, so you might recognize it. The Blue Mountain is the parent of the White Cloud. The White Cloud is the child of the Blue Mountain. All day long they depend on each other without being dependent on each other. The white cloud is always the white cloud. The blue mountain is always the blue mountain. And you can almost feel that as falling into each other. This kind of accompaniment, this kind of embrace. And is it so much of our life like that, on and off the cushion?

[21:51]

You know, you don't know what to do. Something's going on. Something's going on in you, on the cushion. You know, like, you know, so many times, it's like, whoa, where did that tightness in the chest come from? Why is my heart racing right now? come back to Zazen instruction. And the bell rings. You have no idea what happened. This happened to me today, just a few minutes ago. And I exit the Zendhal and I'm walking into the community room And I suddenly feel this upswell. And I allow it.

[22:55]

And up come tears. And it was so present and potent. that I dropped to my knees, not dramatically, but I could just feel really myself falling, but not a free fall, falling to the ground for something real and significant to come through. And to feel the release of that and the warmth and the love. Who knows what that's about?

[23:57]

The wonderful thing about Sashin is we don't live. We keep going, but we don't bypass. Let's see, that's the big thing. We don't bypass. We allow what's actually really coming through, and everything changes. So when she throws herself to the ground, just to be with, anything's possible. It's so remarkable. The server comes. Bow. There's a spill. You bow, or whatever.

[24:58]

So what is this ground that we're falling to? Again, in the story of the Buddha, the ground plays a very important role, and particularly in the mind of understanding. So there are two key tellings, two key points of emphasis. One is that the Buddha always is, and also to be, takes a seat, and he's visited by you name it, kinds of, however you want to call them, you could say he was besieged.

[26:09]

And we give that a character name of Mara. And he holds his seat. Just like we do. He doesn't fight and he doesn't negate, right? Allows, allows, recognizes. And the ground of his seat is actually groundlessness. Nothing really... I was going to say to write home about. It's very subtle, right?

[27:11]

Because the bell rings. You have no idea what just happened. Next thing you know, you're walking outside and you can't. Everything is just as it needs to be. What can you really call that ground that you're falling walking on with? Sudogen calls us something because Dogen wrote an essay, and that's called . Of course we'll call it an essay. In that essay, he is articulating, I think, something about this ground, or we could say the Buddha way, the path.

[28:36]

And another aspect from the tale of Shakyamuni Buddha's awakening is that when he awakens, he says, he didn't blaze the trail, he says, It's like I discovered an ancient trail. So, and this is particularly in the Mahayana, that there is no, you can go all the way back and atomize, oh, that's the moment. Oh, that's the person who woke up. We all kind of flow from that, thank goodness. but we really are waking up together. You could say we're blazing the trail, meaning the trail appears as we walk, or you could say we keep rediscovering that trail, you know,

[29:51]

At what's sometimes called the monk's dance. Fall asleep. Fall down, get up. Fall asleep, wake up. Over and over and over again. You have no idea what's going on. The bell rings. It's time for king him. Falling, walking. Falling, walking. You're walking. You're falling kind of quickly, and the next thing you know, you're bunched up. Right line. Person in front of you. And you're wondering, why are they falling? Why are they falling? And you realize, oh, I'm not walking alone. We're falling walking. We're falling into each other. And the next thing you know, you realize, oh, it's like this. And I think that that's what Dogen is emphasizing for us in an essay he wrote called Continuous Practice. We're circling the way. And this is what he writes to encourage us.

[30:54]

He says, On the great road of Buddha ancestors, there is unsurpassable practice, continuous and sustained. It forms the circle of the way and is never cut off. Between aspiration, practice, enlightenment, and nirvana, there is not a moment's gap. This is the circle of the way. This being so, continuous practice is unstained, not forced by you or others. The power of continuous practice confirms you as well as others. It means your face affects the entire earth and the entire sky in the ten directions, although not noticed. by others or by yourself, it is so. Sound familiar?

[31:57]

Like what Layman Panic says to Layman Panic. Not noticed by others or by yourself. How come? Because there's no separation. And that, I think, is what Ozan was speaking to when he talked about separation. another teaching that opens for another time. And also, the bodhisattvas embrace. Because as bodhisattvas, that's what we're doing. We're falling into each other, into the sweetest, sweetest of embraces. and because we just keep going. You know, the thing about a circle or a sphere, so you can, walking on the surface of the earth, everywhere you are on that circle is equidistant from the center.

[33:14]

And what's at the center is our vow to wake up, together for and with all beings and the great Earth, because we are not separate. And in fact, we are not separate from the entire cosmos, which is in constant motion, constantly falling. Gravity is none other. Falling. You know, the way a star is formed is that there's gas and dust and it collapses into itself because of the falling into and when it gets very very dense like we say stones polishing stones there's a pressure and there's a fire if you will it's called fusion

[34:18]

and it's powerful and it ignites and transforms into light radiant light who we are truly and that's what we're doing here so let's let's keep shining let's keep falling into each other And let's keep embracing one another. Thank you.

[35:22]

Fragility is one side, and can you speak a little bit about the other side? Well, I'm thinking of... When Greg was speaking a few days ago about another teaching of Dogen's, well, actually pursuits. How do you think... There's two versions, think not thinking, or think of not thinking, non-thinking, right? Gil Fronsdale's version in the Dhammapada, hate is not ceased by hate, by non-hate alone is, right? And so instead of thinking of friction, if you will, it's opposite. What I'm wondering is what would it be like to imagine or enact non-fragility?

[36:31]

I wonder what that would, you know, look like for you. To say a word. For parents. It's a word. Yeah. It doesn't feel like it needs to be all that far from fragility to be forbearance. Otherwise, what are you forbearing, right? So there's, well, there's a mutuality there. Thank you. Thank you for your talk.

[38:07]

What came to mind at one point when you were talking of cooperation was serving in the Zendo. And I don't want to say too much because maybe it ruins it, but there's activity that's happening that's bigger than any one person. and it seems to have its own body, maybe. Anyway, does that activity go away when the body-mind disappears in death? Sojin's fall into the Zaf I'm turning to Zafu.

[39:11]

Where is he for you? Sometimes I think the form I saw, although I loved it so much, was that it really is true body to begin with. Yeah. We all are the true body. Not one, not two. There's another word sometimes that's brought in. It's a non-difference, a non-difference distinction. So, We can rely on impermanence, right?

[40:15]

So we can rely on the ceaseless activity that joins us. And that will include every feeling that's going to come up because that's what it is to be fully human. The Buddha was not a god. We have a God realm, right? But that's not really the realm. It's not the realm that we wake up in. We wake up in this realm of relationship where we will feel. We'll feel lost. We'll have a moment like I had, just fall to the ground with tears. And then it's time to serve. How you serve.

[41:18]

The instruction is bow with your whole being. There's a quote by Maya Angelou. She said, they won't remember what you said, but they'll remember how it made them feel. Howdy, sir. Thank you. Judy, while you were recounting the story of the young woman's offering to Shaky Mooney, of a little milk and rice, made me think of something I felt yesterday, which is discomfort at receiving an offering.

[42:26]

It's almost akin to embarrassment, the folks this week who are cleaning my bathroom. I don't know why, well, I don't know why at the time, but it just felt uncomfortable that other people were cleaning my bathroom. And it was kind of humbling and kind of, I guess it made an impression or touched me. And I think maybe part of it was that it's who I think I am. And so I think there's something to that offering and that story that is important. I'm thankful that you shared it. just what it means to receive an offering. We often think that we're, we often can think of one side where we're offering something. But the receiving of that offering can be, I think, just as important sometimes.

[43:28]

And that's not easy to always remember. So thanks. Thank you for receiving and also for sharing. hard that can be, you know, because you sharing that is an offering for all of us. I would be surprised if there was a single person in this room that hasn't at some point found it a little difficult. And that very experience is a moment of fragility. And so, if you will, where you go with that is so important. And to be able to be constructive with that requires all the forms that we're practicing.

[44:30]

That too is the continuous practice to be able to actually show up for that moment of, oh, And there you are. And everything changes. How wonderful. So, shit and all. And by the way, when your shoes sell, you get to clean all those bathrooms. You get to see the flip side. That's what I was thinking. I grew up in, you know, pretty religious circumstances. So there's all these stories about, oh, I saw such and such great teacher cleaning the toilet. Wow. That was the big deal. And now it's hitting me. What is it like to have your toilet cleaned? That great spiritual person doing the cleaning work, but what is it to receive it? And then where I took it based on what you're saying is people are doing this, this for us all the time.

[45:32]

Our other people in our households, our family members, they're cleaning and we're just like, you're not doing your chores or, you know, this or that supporting us too. You know, the bus drivers, the people at Berkeley Bowl, like everyone is supporting us constantly. You know, we're constantly receiving offerings. Enumerable labors. It's a bit mind-boggling. Something you learned in a particularly intimate way during the pandemic and hopefully continue to keep very much in mind. You know, it's an interesting... term, essential worker. Who is not essential? And who is made visible? You know, we have cleaning the bathrooms and other things, right? Every work period, we have an opportunity. You know, sooner or later, one of us will be cleaning or doing something.

[46:37]

But yeah. Good, um... It's a good reminder of how to receive. Thank you. Thanks, Judy. This term, mutuality, has really struck me. It's really helpful. I want to thank you for that, first of all. So we can understand the incredible mechanics of how stars are formed. But I wonder, what do we make of continuous practice in this unseen, unknown, all-pervading, continuous merit that's generated, maybe by cleaning bathrooms, maybe by serving? There seems like there is something there, I think, between stars and

[47:42]

cleaning bathrooms. The work that the ancestors have done that we had their names. The innumerable labors, plus the innumerable labors, the unknown, unnamed ancestors. What is that? Intimacy. There's another line from Joey. I don't know if I can remember it exactly, but you see as far as your dharma eye can see. So we need each other. You know, like Suzuki Roshi said, shine light in one corner, the world, although we can ask.

[48:52]

Isn't that another famous end story? What do you call the world? So, yeah, this interplay for what is seen and who or what is unseen and what's going on in that intimate interplay you know, can offer us the question of, just like the heart suit has, no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body. And yet, eyes, nose, tongue. So if it's not about negating, if it's about non, includes is that mutuality, that intimacy, then we can't be on the sideline observing that. We are that I. I've told this story before.

[49:59]

In my astronomy days, I was standing in a telescope looking very big powerful telescope at the Andromeda Galaxy, which is our nearest neighbor galaxy. And I realized that the light that was, let's say it's whatever it is, five light years away, that means it's taken the light five years to get here. And so I realized that as I'm looking in this moment at the Andromeda Galaxy, I'm seeing what I call the past. And then I realized, wait a minute, somebody in the galaxy looking at me, the light from our sun, is also seeing the past. And yet we're intimate. There's a mutuality there. We are seeing one another throughout time.

[51:01]

And so we can't really wrap our heads around it. That's why we're sitting. And that's why we're walking. And that's why we are 24-7 practicing. And so whether we speak to that through the language of science or poetry or Zen, reality is reality is reality. And there's no shortcut. to intimacy, except to be intimate. That's your dharma inquiry right now. Keep investigating. Keep investigating continuously. And let's all keep doing that.

[52:04]

Delusions are impossible. I vow to mend them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable. It's done.

[52:39]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_87.12