Thank you. And what I would remind you is that these three approaches are basically Zazen. And Sawaki Kodoroshi, one of our revered Soto 20th century ancestors, says, the Buddha Dharma, speaking of Sasa, he says, the Buddha Dharma is always ungraspable, which is signlessness. There is nothing to be gained, which is wishlessness or aimlessness, which we'll talk about tonight. And in the practice of the Buddha way, there is neither illusion nor satori.

[01:09]

And this is emptiness. So we'll come back to this as a way of tying things together at the end. But as I've been doing, I want to do a little review of last week's class. which was on the door of signlessness. So as I said, this signlessness is a concentration that is one of the most refined or supposedly highest meditative states, just on the threshold of nirvana, according to the early Buddhist model. And this practice of signlessness or anamita is really the practice of deconstructing and disconnecting from signs or from sense objects or thoughts.

[02:29]

The signs we identify with are often cognitive When we create a sign, we're also creating a subtle obstruction of our pure awareness. And we impute, we assign meaning to this sign. And then we're led astray by this. So whenever we objectify a thought or a feeling, meaning that we believe that this thought or feeling or something that we're perceiving has substance or reality, that's what's meant by creating a sign. And, you know, in Zazen,

[03:33]

Perceptions may occur, but they don't necessarily reach the awareness of becoming a sign for us. So the practice is signlessness in that sense. So I wanted to read you something here of what I didn't get to this last time, Thich Nhat Hanh. And I also want to just acknowledge, because I've been thinking, I'm going to give a talk on Saturday. reflecting further on all that we got from Thich Nhat Hanh over the last 40 years, you know, a tremendous amount of Dharma that's affected us. And I think in particular, one of the things, just the fact that we're studying the three doors of liberation, in a sense, is one of those dharmic points that we got from Thich Nhat Hanh.

[04:40]

It's not commonly studied or commonly talked about in the Mahayana, but he brought it forward pretty early on, and that's kind of how we come to be in awareness of it. So what he says is... Signlessness means an appearance or the object of our perception. If water, for example, is in a square container, its sign is squareness. If it's in a round container, its sign is roundness. When we open the freezer and take out some ice, the sign of that water is solid. Chemists call water H2O. The snow on the mountain and the steam rising from the kettle are also H2O.

[05:43]

Whether H2O is round or square, liquid, gaseous, or solid depends on circumstances. Signs are instruments for our use. but they are not absolute truth. They can mislead us. The Diamond Sutra says, wherever there's a sign, there is deception, illusion. Go on with Thich Nhat Hanh. Perceptions often tell us as much about the perceiver as the object of perception. Until we break through the signs, we cannot touch reality. As long as we are caught by signs, round, square, solid, liquid, gas, we will suffer.

[06:53]

And this next sentence I think is really helpful, which is... Nothing can be described in terms of just one sign. So the sign is where we may focus, where our attention may go to one aspect of something at any given moment of time. Then he says, but without signs, we feel anxious. Which I think we may understand that very well. Our fear and attachment come from our being caught in signs. This is really in line with very often. I just find that Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching and Suzuki Roshi's teaching and Sojin's teaching are all, they're really just, you know,

[07:57]

They're very much aligned with each other. Don't be caught by anything. Sojin said this over and over again. And, of course, it's really good. It's a good admonition for us because we're caught all the time. We get caught, but when you get hooked, the practice is unhook yourself. Get uncaught. So you're not really caught. You're not really fully hooked like a fish that's been hoisted on a gaff. The hook is just a little bit in. And if it's a little bit in, we can pull it out and let go of it. So, Tai says, our fear and attachment come from our being caught in signs. Until we touch the signless nature of things, we will continue to be afraid and to suffer. When we free ourselves from signs, we can enter the heart of reality.

[09:05]

But until we can see the ocean in the sky, or see the ocean in the clouds, or see the ocean in the steam coming from the kettle, we are still caught by signs. The greatest relief is when we break through the barriers of signs and touch the world of signlessness, which is nirvana. Tai says, where should we look for the world of no signs? Right here in the world of signs. If we throw away the water, there is no way to touch the suchness of water. We touch the water when we break through the signs of the water and see its true nature of interbeing. In other words, it's true nature that water is the coming together of an almost infinite number of causes and conditions.

[10:13]

And when we see that, then we're touching the signlessness, the suchness of water. So that's what I wanted to review with you. But I just, before I move on, are there any questions or thoughts or comments? And I will, let me look at the participants. You can raise your hand if you have something. Heiko. Thank you, Ozan. The question that came to mind reminded me of something you probably might know from Timothy Leary, who said, tune in, turn on and drop out. And the summary means that from what you just said, I think, tune in like water is something we can drink, turn on, enjoy, as it were, the suchness of water and then drop out.

[11:18]

Let it be neither water nor water. even anything but an interbeing of experience. I think that's true. My recollection is that you're getting the order slightly different. It's turn on, tune in, drop out. Is that so? Because it reminds me of LSD. First you. Well, you have to take the LSD. Turn on. In order to tune in. But I'm not sure that you're right. I don't know for sure. No, you got me. I don't think this is a critical point. You know, but to turn on to the breadth of the reality around us. And then tuning in is to see the interbeing. Anyway, yes, I remember that vividly. Kabir.

[12:21]

I hold on. Thank you. How one can avoid or not get caught by seeking and avoiding? Because we're constantly trying to seek happiness and we want to avoid suffering. And in my opinion, that's the root of all the problems we're having in the world. So how can one individual, me, can unhook myself from the seeking and avoiding? Thank you. That's what we're getting to in the rest of this session when we talk about wishlessness or aimlessness, okay? All right. I'll be patient. Pay very close attention. Okay. Thank you. Lynn. Hi. So this piece about something, you say when we're perceiving it, It's a sign. But then I have the experience at Tassajara Creek where I feel I experienced signlessness, you know, because of the oneness, the water, my cells, the light, the reflection, the rock, the whole of it as a gestalt.

[13:44]

And the only kind of sign that I, you know, when I think of it is the sun. When I look at the Sunday night, when do I need to go for lunch? When do I need to go for bath? And so this direct experience. So I guess there's something where I think there's a difference between the direct experience and the naming of it or the categorizing of it or the, you know, separation of it. So that's the... What Tai says, and this is important to remember, where should we look to find the world of no science? Right here in the world of science. So, you know, you're not, if you're at Tassajara and your consciousness is open to where you're absorbing

[14:46]

all of this sensory input, you can come to that. And all of us come to that on beautiful moments of the day where we're not necessarily distinguishing. We're not separating a thing. We're merging into a wholeness. And for moments, we have that. And then in the next moment, Our discriminating mind, which is, there's nothing wrong with it. That's also a miracle of signlessness. Our discriminating mind says, oh, I'm going to get a sunburn if I stay out here too long. And so we are constantly moving back and forth between the world of discrimination and the world of non-discrimination. But the point that's being made here on this side, is because these are concentrations, these are meditational approaches, where the emphasis here is on the non-discrimination, which doesn't mean that discrimination is in part of our... Discrimination is also an expression of Buddha nature.

[16:06]

But in this case, the problem with discrimination is that we're often caught by it. And in this case, it's pushing the other aspect. It's pushing the non-discriminative, empty and signless side of things. And it's important for us to have the capacity to reach that. Does that make sense? Yes, that makes sense. Yeah. I feel like Tazahara and the past has gone on there. Suzuki Roshi and prior millennia with indigenous people. It's almost like this amazing vortex for that kind of connection. That's true. But let me suggest every place is like that. Well, yes. Everywhere you are like that. Every moment of your life is actually like that.

[17:09]

That's the point. That's a point that the Zen masters are making. And it's hard for us to see because we're trapped in our self-creating mechanism, which is a great way to lead to the door of aimlessness, okay? Yes. Okay. Anyone else? Manuela, you'll be the last one on this particular section. Yeah, go ahead. You're muted. Still muted. Okay. Yeah. So I was just thinking of an experience that we had today that's both about sign and then signlessness. And we're bird watchers. And one of the places we go is to the Albany Barb.

[18:10]

And The best time we always say to ourselves to go and see the birds is on a receding tide at a certain point. And today, the receding tide would have been at a very different time than when we would be able to go. So we went on an ascending tide. And I realized, as we were walking, that we... Because we go regularly in a receding tide and we know how the water flows, we have a tendency to look for particular things. And that was the science restricting our ability to actually see everything. And on the ascending tide, we saw all kinds of things that we didn't see on the descending tide. And I think we were far more present with the... totality of all of it right so yeah i mean that's that's actually you were manifesting beginner's mind yeah uh you know when you go on the receding tide because that's what you usually do you think you know what you're going to see and generally you see what you're going to see but when you go on the ascending tide

[19:38]

You don't know what you're going to see. And so everything is, things are fresh and new. It's wonderful. Thank you so much for that connection to beginner's mind. I really like that. Thanks. Yeah. And I just, you know, I wish I was a bird watcher. There's something about, you know, there's, it's a very interesting merging of a very broad awareness with a very specific awareness. And as long as it's the problem that can arise with bird watching, I think, is gaining idea, you know, of like number of birds that you see. But the perceptual act of it is so acute and rarefied. It's wonderful. Yeah, we have no list that we maintain. But even when you think you're looking with a broader mind, you're constrained in a way you're not aware of until you suddenly see these wonderful things that you... So anyway, thank you.

[20:48]

And then something comes alive. Exactly. Yeah, that's great. Good. Gary? Gary has a new last name. Yeah, my hip is still bothering me a little. He's got a new sign. No, I was just reflecting on how good Sojin was at pulling the rug out from under you. Yeah. And what Manuela was saying is her rug getting pulled out because she wasn't looking for what... was atypical, you know, and I thought Mel was great at doing that. He did it to me a lot anyway. Yeah, he was often very good at it, yeah. That's why we love our really good teachers. Yes. Okay, let's bow to each other. Take a breath and collect yourselves again.

[21:50]

So I want to talk for a while about the third door of liberation, which is translated as aimlessness or wishlessness. And I want to start with two quotations, both from Japanese Zen masters. The first is from... a wonderful poem which we have to study at some point. It's called the Shodoka, which is the Song of Enlightenment by Master Yoka Genkaku. And where it begins is with these verses. It says, there is the leisurely one walking the way beyond philosophy, not avoiding fantasy, not seeking truth. The real nature of ignorance is Buddha nature itself.

[23:08]

The empty delusory body is the very body of the Dharma. So just picture this, these first lines. There is the leisurely one walking the way beyond philosophy, not avoiding fantasy, not seeking truth. Basically just taking what is coming your way. The real nature of ignorance is Buddha nature itself. The empty delusory body is the very body of the Dharma. And the second quotation I want to read you is very familiar to you. It's from Genjo Koan. To study the Buddha way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. And these are the lines that I want to underscore.

[24:12]

To forget the self is to be actualized by myriad things. When actualized by myriad things, your body, as well as the bodies and minds of others, drop away. In other words, When you move through your life aimlessly, you allow things to actualize you. So when Chris and Manuela walk down, walk out on the bulb, and the tide is coming in instead of going out, all of a sudden, they are actualized by myriad things. And the self... has an opportunity to drop away. So those are kind of prefatory quotations. The word that's translated from, the word from Sanskrit that's translated as wishlessness or aimlessness, Edward Conze, the scholar says, the word apranehita,

[25:30]

means literally that one places nothing in front. And it means designates someone who makes no plans for the future, has no hopes for it, who is aimless, not bent on anything, without predilection or desire for the objects of perception that are rejected by the concentration on the signlessness. On the signlessness, I'm sorry. So the things that we see that have signs, when we continue to walk through the door of a pranahita or aimlessness, we let our desire for those signs drop away. And we just wander freely through the world. So some say that a pranahita is not producing the three poisons of greed, hatred, and delusion, not producing them in the future, and that it's a way of not searching for any kind of existence.

[26:57]

Now, in the early Buddhist tradition, and in tradition even, Well, certainly up to the early 20th century, I'm not sure how much it exists anymore. In the Theravada countries, Burma, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, there was a practice, monks did what was called Thudong, which is the wandering way. So they just wandered. They wandered to the forest. And when the dark began to fall, they would just sleep beneath the trees. They would wander from village to village without any plan, without a goal. They were just wandering and perceiving, taking in whatever met them along the way.

[28:02]

So there's a practice that we actually can see manifest in the world. Again, I don't know that this, as practice, its time may have passed at this point. But it really was a living practice up until very recently. So I was looking at Sojin's lecture. which I think you all had his lecture on Three Doors of Liberation, and looking at his commentary about aimlessness, wishlessness. He says, in zazen we let go. We offer ourself to emptiness and to signlessness and to wishlessness. We don't hanker after anything. We let go of all the verbiage and all the signs and simply give ourselves to reality, which is emptiness of form.

[29:13]

Enjoy enjoying our forms, even if we're not well. You can do that. And I think it's important to remember that actually. He gave this lecture. You know, only a few months before he died. And he was not well. So he was practicing what he was talking about, enjoying our forms, enjoying the form of practice, even if we're not well. And he's telling us, you can do that. And the reason that we know you can do that is because we have the example that he was doing that. And so this is a really powerful example. He continues, wishlessness means letting go and appreciating.

[30:14]

Letting go and being able to appreciate everything around us just as it is. To accept myself just as I am. This is called virtue. Everyone has their own virtue. which is not the same as value. This is an interesting point. Value is comparative. We're comparing ourselves. When we're looking at value, we're comparing ourselves to others. We're always comparing ourselves to other people and other things. And we like to think of our progress as the energy that comparison or competition generates. Wishlessness is beyond competition. It's actually called nirvana. Just letting now be now.

[31:18]

We live in our dream. And letting go is letting go of the dream. And that's scary. So this is very much like what Thich Nhat Hanh was saying, that the letting go of the signs can be anxiety-producing or fearful. Letting go is letting go of the dream, and that's scary. We depend on the dream. So what he's saying is we depend on our wishes, our fantasies, our aims for the future. And very often it's these aims for the future, these goals, are what we feel sustains us or leads us on. Then he says, to have something, if we don't have the dream, what would we do?

[32:30]

To have something, a dream, a goal, is important, absolutely. But to find your freedom within the goal, but find your freedom within the goal which is beyond our wishes. So this is what, this is the conundrum that we experience when we look at the idea of liberation or enlightenment or nirvana. When we establish it as a goal, then it's always, you know, it's like the carrot on the stick that's held in front of the horse. You know, it's dangling in front of me, and I'm always trying to move forward to reach it. That's not the nirvana for the horse would be, oh,

[33:32]

I'm just taking one step after another. How wonderful it is to be able fully to move and use my whole body and mind just to do that. So that's finding your freedom within the goal. So it's not that our goal is just we want to wake up to reality as it is. So Sojin goes on, he says, wishlessness is characterized by not running after things. So again, we get to the carrot on the stick. We can be running after, no matter how fast or how careful we are trying to sneak up on it, we are not going to get any closer to that carrot. There's a wonderful section here. You may remember this. So wishlessness is also characterized by not running after things.

[34:35]

Every night I walk the streets with my dog, and I come across all kinds of stuff on the corners. And I think, I would like to take that home. Gee, that's such a nice chair. I said, I did find a chair, a really good chair the other night, and I took it home. Liz said, why did you bring that home? Why did I bring that home? At the time, it looked really good. I bring all these useless things home. So I'm very conscious of how I should control my wishes. So he said, believe it or not, after 91 years, well, Believe it or not, after 91 years, he was still collecting random stuff from the street corner because it looked good to him.

[35:40]

He was not totally immune to his wishes and desires. But he also says, after 91 years, I realized that if you follow what you want, that's what you get. So you have to be very careful. You have to be very careful what you take home. If you're lucky, you have a smart and practical wife or husband who says, why did you bring that thing home? But we can say that about anything. We need to say that about our life, we need to say that about the things that we wish for and we desire. So Thich Nhat Hanh says, we're endlessly running.

[36:45]

We're running after love and wealth, enlightenment, whatever. Aimlessness means you have no goal, no object of pursuit. Then you realize you have everything you need all along. Zen master Rinzai, his term for this is the businesslessness, businessless person. She who has no personal business to conduct in samsara is called a Buddha. So. I think of this, there's another image that we have in our tradition. Where is it here?

[37:47]

The other image that resonates for me is the 10th ox herding picture. It's entering the market with bliss-bestowing hands. This is the last picture in that set of Chinese pictures which illustrate the path, illustrate the path to awakening. And the text to it is quite lovely. His humble cottage door is closed, and the wisest, don't know him. No glimpses of his inner life are to be caught, for he goes or she goes on her own way without even following the steps of the ancient sages. Carrying a gourd, she goes out into the market. Leaning against a stick, she comes home.

[38:58]

He's found in company With wine-bibbers and butchers. He and they are all converted into Buddhas. Just wandering through the marketplace. And then there's a verse, which is also lovely. Bare-chested and bare-footed, he comes out into the marketplace. Dogged with mud and ashes, how broadly he smiles. There is no need for the miraculous power of the gods. Look, with a touch, the dead trees come into full bloom. That's a great verse. Bare-chested and bare-footed, he comes out into the marketplace. Dogged with mud and ashes, how broadly he smiles. There's no need for the miraculous power of the gods.

[40:03]

Look, with a touch, the dead trees come into full bloom. So let me read you a little more from Thich Nhat Hanh and then we'll stop and have questions and comments. Thich Nhat Hanh says aimlessness means you don't put anything in front of you as the object of your pursuit. We said that already. What you are looking for is not outside of you. It is already here. You already are what you want to become. This is a really difficult teaching. To really take that in. That you are what you want to become. Or you can be however you wish to be. that that potentiality is within you.

[41:06]

Because often we feel we want to be someone else. The core of our suffering actually is precisely our wishes. It's precisely that we want things to be different from how they appear to be at this moment. And whenever we entertain that thought, then we are entertaining suffering. Thich Nhat Hanh says, concentrating on aimlessness releases your longing and craving for something in the future and elsewhere. You may be running all your life instead of living it. You may be running after happiness, love, romance, success, or enlightenment. Concentrating on aimlessness consists of removing the object of your pursuit or your goal.

[42:10]

If you are running after nirvana, you should know that nirvana is already there in yourself and in everything. If you are seeking happiness, be aware that happiness is available in the here and now. These seem like wonderful words. They are not platitudes. They are not platitudes. They are the lived experience that with difficulty Thich Nhat Hanh had to discover for himself. And he did share it with us. He told us about it. But it's still our work. our work in zazen and our work in our life to be able to understand that this is really true. The insight of aimlessness helps you stop running.

[43:18]

A wave doesn't have to go and look for water. It is water, right here and now. A cedar tree doesn't have a desire to be a pine or a cypress or even a bird. It's the wonderful manifestation of the cosmos just as it is. You are the manifestation of the cosmos. You're wonderful just like that. We are taught to think That if we are aimless, we won't get anywhere. Which reminds me of a story that Sojin told, if I'm remembering it correctly, when they were on Dwight Way. I guess there was a series of burglaries in the neighborhood.

[44:27]

And early one morning, People would come early one morning just as we used to do here. And we will again to Zazen. And the police were looking, were watching the streets. And they knocked on the door. And Sojan invited this policeman in. And he wanted to know why were these people coming. Sojourn told them, well, we have meditation, we have zazen every morning, and so people come to sit together. And the policeman was reflective for a moment, and he said, well, where is this going to get you? And Sojourn said, we're not trying to get anywhere.

[45:33]

And it was a wonderful story that he really enjoyed. So we're taught to think that if we're aimless, we won't get anywhere. But where are we going? We think that we are born and we have to achieve something before we die. Suppose we draw a line from left to right, representing the course of time. We pick one point, call it point B. We call it birth. We make a birth certificate for this baby, thinking that that person starts at point B. But in fact, the child is already there. Even before the moment of conception, the seeds of the child existed in other forms. Point B is a moment of continuation. There is no beginning. We think that there will be a moment when we stop being. On the imaginary line we have drawn, let's call it point D, death.

[46:40]

We believe that at birth we pass from non-being into being, and we believe that at death we will pass from being back into non-being. Looking deeply into our notions of being and non-being, aware of the emptiness and the signlessness of all things, we touch the reality of birthless and deathless nature of all things. Now, as our practice matures in this context, as it matures as the practice of the three doors of liberation, which, as we said, are none other than Zazam, as that matures, all notions drop away. Thich Nhat Hanh says, there is no longer any need for fear. If the wave knows how to rest in the water, she enjoys going up and she enjoys coming down.

[47:46]

She's not afraid of being or non-being. She's not afraid of coming or going. Three doors of liberation remind us that we are no different than the wave. Empty, signless, and able to touch the inherent in us in any moment. So before I go on, let me just pause and get your thoughts or your questions or comments. I'm going to tie it. tie it back into some points that are very familiar from our practice. But first, let's see if you have anything. Barbara. You're muted. Okay. I just wanted to share a real life story with you of myself.

[48:53]

Many years ago at the beginning of my practice, I was volunteered, maybe foolishly, to help with my teacher's retreat in Brooksville, Florida, which is horse country, very different from the rest. And it was someplace I'd gone to a Vipassana retreat before. And I wanted to make it perfect. I was the retreat leader, scheduler. And it's a gorgeous place. It's all rolling hills and giant trees. unbelievable trees with moss hanging from them that look like people. They were so impressive. Just amazing. Live oaks in central Florida, actually. And we were very unused to this because the rest of Florida is kind of like a frying pan. But I was running from the manor house where we held our discussions to the cabins.

[49:56]

to try and keep the Deep South caterers from giving us meat. It was a really difficult thing. They were not accustomed to anybody who didn't want ribs and so on and so forth. And then the cabins had other... Anyway, I was very worried about all these things being perfect for the retreatants. And the two co-leaders of the... retreat were An Hung and her husband, Tu, who are, An Hung is Thich Nhat Hanh's niece. And I was constantly running in my mind and physically across this beautiful landscape with the live oats. And suddenly, both of them grabbed me and held me in their embrace, two grown adults. I'd never been in this situation before. And they said, dear Sister Barbara, just breathe.

[51:01]

Just breathe. We see you are so concerned about everything and you need to let that go. So by accosting me, by capturing me, they set me free. Fast forward 10 years, I'm at Tassajara and I go into the garden shed. And there's the little gatha under the Buddha there. It may not be there anymore, but it said, remember the one who is not busy. And it just pierced me, you know, just an amazing thing. So here is this person, these people who are very close to Thich Nhat Hanh, who are encircling me and capturing me and keeping me from being chained to my busyness. So I just wanted to share that. Thank you. I mean, that's really on the mark of what we're talking about. And yes, it's a famous koan.

[52:04]

There's one who is not busy. And that one is, we have to make that one ourself. We have that potentiality. But we have to stop. Sometimes it's great. Somebody has to tell us to stop. somebody may actually have to physically restrain us, as they did. Wonderful. Really great. Thank you. Other thoughts, comments, stories? Well, I want to tell you, I want to connect this with our schools of practice.

[53:05]

So in Fugan Zazengi, Dogen Zenji is very clear that when we have this line, the Zazen I'm speaking of is not learning meditation. So Zazen, and he says over and over again in different contexts, Zazen is not desiring or figuring out how to become a Buddha. It is not, that means it's not a technique or an instrumentality by which we attain a special state of mind, not even the state of mind of enlightenment. said, do not intend to make a Buddha. The thing is, we don't have to intend to make a Buddha because the whole thrust of Dogen's teaching is that our practice is the expression of the fact that we already are Buddha.

[54:22]

And we hear this over and over again And I think often, well, I can say for myself, sometimes I believe it, and sometimes I, at best, half believe it. But that is the consistent message. It's a consistent message of Suzuki Roshi, consistent message of Sojin. And we hear again and again in... another facethole that we study of Dogen's Gakado Yojinshu Guidelines for Studying the Way, he reminds his students to be like the ancient sages, having no distorted thought of fame or profit, not even attached to the Dharma, meaning not even attached to enlightenment, practicing neither for one's own sake nor for name and gain,

[55:27]

nor to attain blissful reward. Practice Buddha Dharma for the sake of Buddha Dharma. So that's another way of talking about aimlessness or wishlessness. And there's a word for it. I only realized this recently. You know, Suzuki Roshi and Sojin are always talking about no gaining idea. This is very familiar to us, right? But this is a core principle of Soto Zen, and it's actually a word for it. The word in Japanese is musho toku, which translates as mu is negation, mu as in no, Cho means place.

[56:31]

And toku means an advance or gain or profit. So there's no place of profit, no gaining idea. And we hear this again and again. And once you look back, you see in Sawaki Kodo, the great... earlier 20th century Zen master, and in Suzuki Reishi, all of them were putting forward this idea of practice to us. Practice with no gaining idea. That's the practice of aimlessness or wishlessness. Yahiko. Thank you, Hozan. And I completely embrace the destination of wishlessness. But I'm reading right now the Abhutam Saka Sutra, which goes on pages and pages about the value of the will toward enlightenment.

[57:41]

And as you were talking, I thought, okay, well, so the value of the will toward enlightenment, I'm a New Yorker, and many years passed. It's like getting a subway ticket and getting on the train. But if you're in New York, you know the train goes everywhere, so to speak. And so we have to have that will toward enlightenment, that sort of nudge of our own. How would you describe the nudge that we have to generate in such a way that we can understand and not become attached? I think that what we're being told is not so much that we have to generate it, but that we have to recognize it as already existent within us. The will to enlightenment. That's way-seeking mind. The reason that you're here, whatever it was, however you walked in the gate here, there's something beyond your understanding that led you here.

[58:49]

And You may think that you did it yourself, and you participated in it for sure, but there's something in the causes and conditions of your life going back to the beginning that are difficult to see, but they lead us here. I mean, if I think of myself, you know, how did a privileged, educated kid Jewish ethnic background from the suburbs of New York end up living in a Zen temple for 40 years. That was not in the cards. Apparently. But it was. Because it's beyond our understanding. Some other point what I'd love to study and talk about with you because I've been reading I've been reading Shinran.

[59:52]

I've been reading a lot of Shin Buddhism. And they are really, I mean, no gaining idea is also at the heart of that practice. But it's like not just no gaining idea, but no working, no doing, that everything that is given to us is a gift of the Buddhists. And it's very, you know, It would be interesting for us to study it because it turns things on their head. And yet we work as gifts from Buddha in the world. We have, yes. I mean, what we're taught is I feel that what I've been given, I'm responsible. When we look at a gift, the nature of gift-giving, the nature of giving, is to keep the gift in circulation. So if we have been given something, we have to pass it on.

[60:56]

And that's all that we're doing, which is passing on. We're passing on what the ancestors gave to us. And that's not a goal. It's more of a responsibility. Good job. Yeah. Thank you, Sue. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I wanted to put my struggles with learning how to back up my computer in a way with what you're talking about. Just the separation and also some other household maintenance things that are just like pecking at my liver or something. That's another myth. Go ahead. Help. I am not, it does not help me to be caught up in gaining mind about these things.

[62:07]

I'm not sure, you know, there's a goal that I hope to reach, which is someday Nothing will ever need maintenance or go wrong, but that's not a likely goal. That happens when we die. You hope. I have some faith, at least in that, yeah. So I just wanted to put this out because... You know, hearing your words and saying, yes, yes, gaining mind, and then starting to look at my calendar and some of the things I need to do, and it's like, well, okay, I'm clinging to an idea of accomplishing something, but what you're opening up is the idea of trust, that this is how life is. It's what's presenting itself, and it is a gift. the way it is and i get to meet a new computer tech guy that i like very much you know so i don't know that we'll accomplish anything because i'm the kind of person that walks into a copy store and every machine breaks instantly so we'll see what happens right um that's exactly the attitude is let's see what happens

[63:36]

Let's open the door. It's not to be, you know, some spineless, will-less blob. It's, you know, we do things, we move forward in the world, and we see what happens. But Dogen says, he says, simply do good without expectation of reward or recognition. Be truly gainless for the sake of benefiting others. The primary point to hear in mind is to drop your ego. To keep this in mind, you have to awaken to impermanence. And to awaken to impermanence means not attached to the signs. given to us from moment to moment.

[64:38]

And to, you know, this is what, what, what Bernie Glassman talked about, which is, which I love this metaphor. It's like, he was always talking about cooking the supreme meal, but cooking the supreme meal out of whatever ingredients you have at that moment. So you open the refrigerator of your, of your life and you see, what's in there, and you cook something out of it. Whatever it is, you do your best to make it tasty. That's also more fun. It's fun, yeah. Depends on what you got in the refrigerator, but yeah. Kabir. Thank you for this great talk. Is it safe to say then trust the process? Because I'm trying the word trust and that has a gaining weight to it, doesn't it?

[65:41]

No, I don't think so. No, trust is... I'm not stuck on the word trust. I'm sort of stuck on the word process. Okay. Because as soon as you name a process, as soon as you call something a process, you're kind of attaching a sign to it. You're trying to – when you call something a process, that means you're seeing an order and a sequence to it, and it's a kind of objectification. Just trust what's happening and see how you can cook the best meal you can from the ingredients that are being given. And sometimes they're pretty – Sometimes they're not such tasty ingredients, perhaps. You know, it's hard. Yeah, thank you. That creativity, usually I need to use that at 11 o'clock at night when our 13-year-old son gets hungry and he's a super picky eater.

[66:49]

So, yeah, when I open that refrigerator, yeah. Anyways, thank you so much. Thank you. My advice to you is teach him to cook. Teach him to cook now. It's really great. It's a great thing to be able to cook for yourself. Yeah. Thank you. I'll definitely use that. Thank you. Thank you. Gary. Yeah, I just wanted to say that Dogen's referring to impermanence is such a great teaching because, you know, really what I notice is When I gain something, the joy of gaining it is so impermanent. Like, sometimes I'll get something, and about two hours later, all the joy is gone. And I'll say, like, what happened?

[67:52]

And really, it's true. It's kind of circular. aimlessness and impermanence kind of rotate because you attain a goal and it loses its power. And you attain a goal and it loses its power. That's my feeling anyway, or my thought. I think, you know, so in those verses that I read, you know, let me just find this This stack of papers here that I've been discarding. Here it is.

[68:57]

trusting to get back to Kabir's word, impermanence. This is what I like in those for opening lines from the Shodoka. There is the leisurely one walking the way beyond philosophy, not avoiding fantasy, not seeking truth. So just open. And, you know, there's a word for this, in French literature, which the idea has always appealed to me. It appears in 19th century literature. The word is flaneur, F-L-A-N-E-U-R. And it derives from an old Norse word, which means to wander with no purpose. And that's exactly.

[70:03]

There's a leisurely one walking the way beyond philosophy. So Baudelaire talks about this and Poe talks about this. And it was actually a very common trope in late 19th century literature of just someone who walks through the city and just takes it in. Just. And there's some ambiguity because it's equal part, it's kind of part curiosity and part laziness. But I think it's sort of a Western literary articulation of what's going on in what's being described in the Shodoka. And this is something that I shared. With Sojin, you know, one of the greatest pleasures, the two places that I've always loved to walk, and I walked aimlessly along beaches, just walking for, you know, I could walk for miles along beaches and to walk in cities.

[71:19]

And I know that Sojin loved walking. You know, when you would go with him with the city, he would just walk around the city and just take it in. So this is, you could be this leisurely one walking the way beyond philosophy, which is also kind of like being a flaneur. So I just plant that for you. That's embracing impermanence. Anne? Hi. Yeah, I wasn't going to bring this up, but you brought up French literature. So it's been on my mind, which was I just recently reread Nausea, you know, by Sartre. And because I thought there was something in there that was Zen-like, but I hadn't looked at it since the 1970s, probably. I haven't either. Oh, well, you know, I got going on it and it was like totally like, you know, people...

[72:26]

no i'm not going to go on a tangent but uh anyhow it totally had all these um buddhist uh awakening aspects to it and it was and the thing that really caught me was because we've been talking about signlessness so much it was like you know it's all about getting rid of the signs because that was what was in its way you know, of existence, but existence was so hideous to them. It was like globs of jelly, you know. But anyhow, so I was going, I better look this up, you know. And it turned out that Sartre, I think it was Heidegger, that he'd read Heidegger. I think it was a phenomenologist. But these phenomenologists had studied, a number of them had studied Buddhism. Yeah. So... Yeah, and I think even Zen Buddhism. But so anyhow, I think that Sartre, you know, got this. And then you're talking about the walk, the French walk.

[73:26]

He was going on different walks, alleyways, you know, around trees and parks and stuff like that. And, you know, the walk was really a big thing where just all these... names started falling away and he started hating people and their attachment to forms and everything so i just but his end the ending of the book he decided the only he was really enjoying jazz music because that was the only escape from the world of form you know it was listening to this thing that just was in the air so he decided he wasn't a musician but he was gonna write something that was creative and that was his answer to it that it's just uh i don't know it's just incredible because i think the buddhism and then also i i've seen it interested post-modern thought to you know like derrida another french person so yeah yeah thank you let me read let me let me read you something from baudelaire okay um

[74:33]

The lover of life makes the whole world his family, just like the lover of the fair sex who builds up his family from all the beautiful women that he has ever found or that are or are not to be found. Thus, the lover of universal life enters into the crowd as though it were an immense reservoir of electrical energy. Or we might liken him to a mirror. as vast as the crowd itself, or to a kaleidoscope gifted with consciousness, responding to each one of its movements and reproducing the multiplicity of life and the flickering grace of all the elements of life. I think this is kind of what we're talking about here, but seen through the surprising lens of you know, this French poet, Baudelaire.

[75:39]

Anyway, to go back, I just want to go back to one thing in the moments that we have left, which is to say that just to remind us that Aimlessness is not posited as in opposition to waking up. Aimlessness is, again, it's a way of dwelling in emptiness, of deconstructing All of the signs that we consciously and unconsciously create. And in allowing ourself to be completely permeable and porous to the nature of reality.

[76:47]

And so it is, in fact, waking up. But we have to be, we're constant. There's this dynamic tension, you know, where. from Buddhism in the very beginning, from the very beginning. You know, there's a drive towards enlightenment. There's a drive towards nirvana. And at the same time, it's already there. It's not something that you can, you create, or that you achieve. It's the process of actually peeling back the layers, stripping back all of those layers of self-creation so that one can be really open.

[77:56]

And being really open means feeling everything, including pain, grief, sorrow, but also joy and celebration. It just means being fully receptive instead of directive. So that's kind of the point that I want to leave you with. And I don't know if there are any last thoughts or questions from anybody, but I think I'm... I'm kind of at the end of what I wanted to say for tonight. Is there anyone who hasn't spoken yet that would like to speak? Nathan. Thank you, Hozan.

[78:57]

This is a question about our practice. Okay. There was an email on the listserv that went around this week, an article from the tricycle. And... That was Dosho's article? Is he the Dharma heir of Katagiri? He studied with Katagiri, yeah. I didn't read it, but I... I actually had a conversation with Lori about it. Yes, go ahead. It made me really mad. It struck me as an unnecessarily sectarian Dharma smack-talking sort of condescending towards Soto practitioners. You know, the lack of focus on awakening in our practice was troubling or inauthentic or, you know.

[80:05]

And, you know, I recognize part of the reason it made me mad was that I came to BZC having read The Three Pillars of Zen determined that I wanted to have Kensho like, you know, as soon as possible. And, you know, I had doubts as I came to understand what. Our practice is, I remember reading the introduction, rereading the introduction to Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, where Suzuki Roshi's wife jokes that he doesn't talk about enlightenment because he hadn't had an enlightenment experience. And taking that very seriously, that it made me have doubts about enlightenment. the form of practice that we practice. But talking to teachers, I've come to understand that the focus on no gaining idea is part of what differentiates us from, or our practice from one that's more focused on

[81:24]

achieving Kensho, that there's the idea that that is an opening that needs to happen for one to progress in one's practice. So I guess I would... What's the question? The question has to do with... Is that a gateway? Is that a... It feels to me like... like the no-gaining idea as part of my sitting is an essential part of what it is that defines our practice. Yeah. Well, I think it's really important. Don't be attached to no-gaining idea. That's no-gaining idea in a sense. And this is what Thich Nhat Hanh says over and over again.

[82:25]

He says, don't be attached. And Sojin said, don't be attached to a point of view. You should always be looking to the other side of that point of view. And Dosho is a bit of a provocateur. And he was bringing up... From what I understand, from reading other things of his and from talking to Laurie who read it, you know, he was bringing up the other side. That's good because it makes us think. You know, and I'll just say autobiographically, when I first came to Berkeley Zen Center, which was in the summer of 1968, my comprehension of Zen was, mostly based on reading and being excited by Three Pillows of Zen, which had just been published.

[83:31]

And when I came here, I didn't talk to anybody and nobody talked to me. It wasn't as friendly as it was. It wasn't unfriendly. It's just like kind of you're left to come and go. So I didn't realize that there was something different going on here than what was being talked about in Three Pillars of Zen. But the problem that I had with Three Pillars of Zen as a 19-year-old, or let's see, 60, 20-year-old, was I had spent all the previous years through high school and college striving. And it's like I wasn't comfortable striving for something else, so-called enlightenment. So it was a real problem for me. And it wasn't until later when I returned after reading Zen Mind Beginner's Mind that I saw there was another approach to practice. But that didn't mean that what was being presented in Three Pillars of Zen, what was represented in other schools of Buddhism was bogus or false.

[84:40]

Whatever it is, look to the other side. That's also the practice of aimlessness or wishlessness, is understanding that there is another side. And we are left, each of us as individuals is left, with the conundrum of trying to figure out how to integrate that. A large awakening experience can be... It could be really valuable. It also can be a hindrance. It's completely dependent upon what you make it. So that's what I'd say. I see, Lynn, why don't you ask the last question? It's not really a question, but in the lecture, that's how Ms.

[85:44]

Sojin gave the dokusam that he had given. And before we spoke about enjoy your form, even if you can enjoy your form, even if it's not well, that part preceded and what I thought so profound, I wanted to offer it up in our closing where he talked about, this is plain Jane Buddhism. And he talked about offering ourselves to emptiness, to signlessness and to wishlessness. Yeah. No, a giving to. And a giving to reality. Then he went into the empty form and enjoyed the form. And I just felt it was so great and simple and classic. Yeah. Plain Jane, give yourself to the three. Walk through those doors. Just walk through them.

[86:44]

aimlessly, receptively, giving yourself and receiving what's given you. That's where we go. That's walking, that's using those three doors. So thank you, thank you for coming to this class for these four weeks and I hope you'll Use this material and we will continue our studies. Let's close with the Bodhisattva Thales. Beings are numberless. I vow to awaken with them. Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable.

[87:46]

I vow to become it.

[87:49]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_95.86