Well, we've been, it seems we've been talking about intuition, and I'm going to continue talking about intuition. The meaning of the word intuition, intuition, into it. Into it. What else could it mean? Into it, ishin. Ishin is, we don't need ishin, just into it. So I have some notes that I made. We also have a term, as it is.

[01:11]

It, we have to clarify the meaning of it. Sometimes we say everything, but when we say everything, we're talking about things, right? So things, and everything doesn't really cover everything. It only covers things. So there are things and there's that which is not things. In Buddha Dharma, we're more interested actually in what is not things than we are in what is things. So we use the word it, because it has no special meaning. except that it designates whatever you want it to designate. You know, we say, this is it, and that's [...] it.

[02:14]

So, that word is the universal word, that term, that means anything we want it to mean. And it means everything. I mean, it goes beyond everything. and it includes what is things and what is not things. And we usually, in the Dharma, we usually use it to determine more like the cosmic order, which includes things. Cosmic order is how you eat your breakfast. cosmic order is how you walk down the street. We don't necessarily think of ourselves as cosmic beings. We see ourselves as the earth and as people and then there are these animals and then there are these trees and vegetables and the minerals and so forth and then there's the great sky out there with orbs because everything is roundish.

[03:27]

It has to be. I thought about, when we think of space people, flying saucers, and saucers are round, right? As they must be in the cosmos, because the only thing that can survive is something that doesn't catch anything. And then I thought about, well, maybe space people have square vehicles. But that wouldn't work. So there are various levels of what we call reality. You know, we're here in the zendo, and then we say, well, out there in the real world, which means the world, the dualistic world outside of this reality, which is some other reality, as if this is not reality.

[04:49]

Out there in the real world, this is like some kind of stage play. In a way, actually, the stage play is up there. I'm not saying it's not real, but this is the real, real world, because our activity here is not limited to our thinking mind, our small categories, the limitations of how we act out in the illusory world which we call the real world. We can't say that it's not real because illusion is real, it's real illusion and delusion is real delusion. In this illusory world we allow ourselves to

[05:56]

for a while in a world that's not ruled by the small mind. So in Buddhadharma, in our Mahayana understanding, there are three natures. One is the nature of things or something, things. It's usually called something as it is. But he uses both the plural and singular. Things as it, right? Things and it. It doesn't follow things. Something follows. It follows something. But he's not saying something, he said things. And so he's using both the plural and the singular. things as it is.

[07:00]

So he's using the word it, not as they are. So the it covers everything, so to speak. Things as it is. So we say as it is, meaning the reality of something. Something's true being. before discrimination. Discrimination means division. So in Zazen, in our drama here in the Zendo, we don't depend on discriminating mind, because discrimination means to divide. That's what we call dualistic understanding. So we take out the dividing board, and the ocean comes together, and there's no division.

[08:03]

That's non-discriminating. But we discriminate because we need to. We separate one thing from another, and it's important. But there's the mind, the attention and mind that sees everything as it is, is very difficult. Because as soon as we see something, we discriminate it. So the second nature is called representation. So instead of seeing a thing exactly as it is, we see it as a representation in our mind. We create a picture of it in our mind. So then when we look at something, take 10 people that look at something, like at the pillar, and we think that we all see the pillar in the same way. But each one of us has a picture in our mind of what the pillar looks like.

[09:10]

We transpose it into a picture in our mind. So it's easy for us to live our life seeing everything as a picture rather than what it really is. So, isn't that the imagined? No, that's later. That's the third one. Just let me talk. Okay. So, the second nature is representation. We make a representation of in our mind, a picture in our mind of what a thing is. I call this table, but in actuality, it's not a table, it's just my picture that I created in my mind, which the third level, the third nature is called imagination, as Raul was pointing out, but that's the third level. And the picture and imagination work together, of course, and I imagine, but the imagination is a little different than that.

[10:17]

The level of imagination is just thinking about something, just letting thoughts arise, an imagination. And we either believe our thoughts, I think Alan had a, on his bumper sticker, it said, don't believe everything you think. Still has it. So our imagination is working, when we talk about thoughts, don't let the thoughts, don't hang on to the thoughts that go on in your mind when you're sitting zazen. Recognizing that imagination is always working. Always working. In the Qingwei Shulun, it states that the mind is like a rushing torrent of imaginative thoughts. that never stops, it's like a waterfall, just this, and it is. You can stop your thoughts for, you know, okay, don't think, but say don't think is a thought.

[11:23]

So we're always talking to ourself, all the time. So in order to touch reality as it is, there's the reality of imaginative thoughts, there's the reality of pictures in our mind, or how we create what we think the thing is, which it's not, and then there's what it actually is. So to actually see what it is is difficult, because we want, in order to create a, make sense of our life, we create a picture. And we create different pictures, you know? Some people, no matter what the evidence was, voted for somebody with whom they created a picture in their mind of what this person was.

[12:37]

But if you look at it in reality, it wasn't that way at all. And then we think that the picture we had in our mind was the right one. It was. Anyway, so these are the three minds, the three natures, so-called. Yes? As it is. as it is, representation. So, instead of seeing it as it is, we represent it through our own contortion, mental contortion. And that's different than imagination? Well, it's not different than imagination, but imagination has its own category. Worse language. What? Worse language. Worse? Oh, where does language lie in all this?

[13:40]

Well, language lies in imagination and in representation. As soon as you have language, you have discrimination. Yeah, we agree on something called English. We agree on something called English. You didn't make up English, I didn't make up English. Sometimes we do, but ... Yeah, but there's a ... Okay, we agree on what our language is, yes. You were born into a language. No, we agree on it. Well ... We're born into ... You taught the language in primary school. That's different, yes. Right? So you don't make it up. It pre-exists each generation and it goes from generation to generation. So it's not an individual idiosyncrasy you're made up of. And yet it's not the thing in itself.

[14:45]

It's not. Oh, the designators are not the thing that's designated. Because language is given to us, we don't invent it. Is that what you mean? Yeah. But then there's another aspect of our nature where each one of us makes up our own reality. Yes. And that's different. That's different, yeah. But language is a designator, and sometimes that's way off, because language itself changes. The meaning changes all the time of language. But basically, you're right, yes. I mean, if I understand your point, yes. Yes, so the thing, that's one of the problems. Because we name something, the name is it. And that's a big part of the confusion.

[15:49]

Naming creates illusion. But it creates the objective reality, what we consider the objective reality. Yes. Yes, it creates, no, it creates the illusion. Language creates the illusion. If you don't have language, you see something without the illusion of naming it, because we have the meaning of the word, nothing really conforms completely to the meaning of the word. There's only a designator. And we can use, but that's why poetry gets beyond usual meanings. That's why we have the third nature. That's why we have the real, which is not objective reality. It's not, you know, something more than that. Yes, these are made up, yes, because there's something called conveniences.

[17:00]

We say this is the United States for convenience, but actually there's no such thing as the United States. There's only here. And if you're standing, we have this building, If the building wasn't, if there was no buildings, there were no buildings at all, and you stand right here, you're covering the whole earth, because there's no division, right? Yeah, so this is it. We're covering the whole earth wherever we stand, but because we have all these divisions, we don't think, we say, well, I'm in the United States, and maybe it'll be important if I'm Mexican. you know, that's made up, that's illusion. I'd like to continue. Human beings have consciousness.

[18:22]

Animals also have consciousness, even though there are people who think that animals don't have consciousness. But animals have animal consciousness. People have human consciousness. Trees have tree consciousness. Plants have plant consciousness. Rocks. Well, rocks have rock consciousness. So, but it means awareness, right? A mountain has awareness and you feel it when you see it. And people climb these mountains because mountains have awareness. Why did you climb it? Well, because it's there. So there is the mountain's awareness. So, but intuition is beyond consciousness.

[19:25]

Consciousness has various divisions, which I can't, I'm not going to explain all the divisions of consciousness, but just a little bit. The ears, the eyes, the nose, the smell, the taste, the touch are the doorways of perception to consciousness. And those are five levels of consciousness, but those levels of consciousness are dependent on discriminating consciousness to make some work. So there's a discriminating consciousness which allows the sense consciousnesses to take in the information that surrounds us. And then there's a consciousness where the information is deposited.

[20:35]

That's called the eighth consciousness, alaya vijnana, the storehouse of all the things that our consciousness is aware of, has ever done, anything that ever happened to us in this moment by moment in this life is deposited. All the seeds of those thinking and doing are deposited there. And then there's the seventh one in between, which is our sense of self called self-consciousness. And self-consciousness is supported by all these other levels of consciousness. And the self-consciousness is the one that says, I am I. This is me. And we act out of that consciousness. And when we act out of that consciousness, which we do all the time, that's called self-ish-ness. self-centeredness because that consciousness takes on the task of being the center of ourself.

[21:48]

And then when we talk about me and my, we're referring to this self-consciousness, but this self-consciousness is a construction, a construct. It's not real. in the sense of having any substantiality, and we keep creating it all the time. It's our illusion of self or delusion of self, and we take it very seriously, and it's the cause of all the problems that we have. We say, oh, you're egotistical, you're self-centered. Yeah, we all are. But this is created through imagination and construction. The ego sees everything as representation.

[22:52]

It doesn't really, the ego or self-construction doesn't easily take into consideration things as it is. So it's always creating a problem and watering the seeds of delusion, which keeps perpetuating its self. So we keep perpetuating our illusive self, illusory self, and we wonder why we suffer. This is all connected to Four Noble Truths, Eightfold Path, it's the center of Buddhist understanding. So, in order to be able to actually get out of that, let go of that self as the center, and we wonder, well, where is the center?

[23:57]

If I let go of myself, How am I gonna survive? Because when we think of the self as the survival, when we talk about human beings, sometimes we say, well, it's survival instinct, right? True, there is a survival instinct, more in some than in others. So we're afraid to let go of the self. Really hard. What will happen if I die? If I let go of myself, will I die? So it's very hard, but we have to let go of it and see what happens. This is called walking off the 100-foot pole. See what happens if we let go of what we cling to. We're always clinging, we really cling, and some of us cling more than others. So Zazen, our practice, of course, in this unreal zendo,

[24:57]

is to let go of that false self and see what happens. That's why we keep coming back, you know? But sometimes it's really hard, and especially in the middle of Sashin, it's hard because our legs hurt, among other things. Our mind hurts, our emotions hurt. But the more we can let go, the less hurt we have. the more we can let go, the less hurt we have. Because who is it that's being hurt? Who is it that's having the problem? So Suzuki Roshi, you know, among others, this is basic Soto Zen, depend on intuition rather than on thinking mind, because thinking mind always keeps creating discrimination, which keeps reinforcing ourself.

[26:07]

We just keep reinforcing ourselves through discrimination, wanting to be wonderful, wanting to have this and have that. We're always comparing ourselves to each other, not always, but we do that, and we create problems that way, and we get angry, We hold on to the anger. Anger is an ego builder, right? All these emotions and feelings are ego builders. And I would say, well, if I don't have my feelings and emotions, who am I? Who am I without all this stuff that supports me? It's a great question. So we live in our small worlds. We really live in our small worlds. And we relate to things through our small mind in our small worlds. And we depend on our ego. So we have this opportunity to let go of our small ego.

[27:16]

And I like Deshi Maru a lot. Actually, he says, we follow the cosmic order. We allow ourselves to follow the cosmic, allow the cosmic order to be ourself. Suzuki Roshi, and that's what Suzuki Roshi's talking about, when he said, everything we think about, spiritual life, mundane life, it's all on this side. Intuition is on this side of no self. and intuition is how we access the cosmic order. And when we access the cosmic order, the cosmic order, we let the cosmic order move us, which it's always doing anyway, without interfering with it.

[28:20]

And it informs our thinking. So it's called right thinking instead of egotistical thinking. It's called right action instead of egotistical action. So sitting is one form of action. Moving is another form of action. Moving is another form of sitting. So the girl, she once said, When I sit down on a cushion, I'm standing on my own two feet. So, when we do Zazen, we enter Samadhi. Samadhi It means, actually, it means joining up or not interfering with the cosmic order.

[29:30]

Being one with the cosmic order, that's what samadhi is. And when we sit sasan, we let go of discrimination thinking, even though it's happening. We can't stop it, but we let go of it. We don't let it dominate us. So when thoughts come into our mind, we don't attach to them. So there are various kinds of samadhi. There are many, many samadhis. There's the samadhi, Dogen talks about jiju yu zamae, the samadhi of self-fulfillment. When we let go of our discrimination, discriminating mind, and sit in peace, Zazen is called Jiju Samadhi. The Samadhi which allows us to rest in the cosmic order and is self-fulfilling.

[30:45]

It takes the place of the self. This is instead of human nature, Buddha nature. Human nature we all have. Human nature is also Buddha nature, but it separates itself. Our human nature, which is to work in a comparative way. Buddha nature is not, goes beyond comparative values. And instead of value, it's called virtue. Virtue is that which everyone has that cannot be compared to anything else. You cannot be compared to anything else. We're always comparing ourselves. But virtue means, in this case, this sense means not comparing yourself to anything else, to anyone else.

[31:49]

You are you. And the whole universe is your Playground. And then you have your confidence. There are all kinds of ways that we try to create confidence. You know, by building big buildings and collecting a lot of money and having fast cars and stuff. But the true confidence comes with having no self and letting, and feeling confident in The cosmic order. Suzuki Ryoshi called it sitting in your mother's lap. That's what he did call it, sitting in your mother's lap. But your mother, of course, is the whole universe.

[32:52]

including some nice lady that you know very well, maybe. So, and then there's also komyo zo samay. Komyo means something like radiant light, sometimes called divine light, original light. What did I call it, I called it? Something else. Primitive or primal.

[34:00]

Yeah, primal, I like that. Because prime means first. original and kind of raw, you know, without deviations. And Komyōzō-samai, all the ancestors in Soto Zen used the term I'll use that one. And it's kind of a very traditional Soto Zen term, and it figures through everything that we've studied of the Soto Zen literature includes that. And Ko Un Ajo, who was Dogen's main disciple, wrote a treatise on entering the treasury of radiant light, which I will talk about tomorrow.

[35:25]

You've got to be here tomorrow. Do you want to hear it now? This is a preview. This is the preview. He says, do not try to experience Satori. Do not try to drive away illusion. Do not hate the thoughts that arise, and do not love them either. Above all, do not entertain them. Just practice the Great Sitting here and now. If you do not continue a thought, it will not come back if it's on a chord. But that's true. But no thought ever comes back. Every thought only goes forward.

[36:29]

There's no such thing as going back. It's just a new thought appearing that looks like the old thought. If you do not continue a thought, it will not come back if it's on a chord. If you let yourself go in your own breathing out, if you let the breathing in fill you in a harmonious coming and going, all that remains is a zafu under an empty sky, the weight of a flame. If you do not expect anything from what you do, if you refuse to consider anything whatsoever, you can cut everything by Zazen alone. Even if 84,000 illusions come and go, if you do not attach any importance to them and let them make their own way, the wonderful mystery of the storehouse of great wisdom can leap up from every one of them.

[37:29]

There is not just the Komyo illumination of the time during Zazen. There is also the light that gradually leads you step by step, act after act, to see that everything can be realized immediately without passing through your intellect or your thoughts. That's called intuition. In the hour of your birth, Komyo, radiant light, did not exist. I'm going to reword that. Komyo did not exist just when you were born. And when you die, it will not disappear just because you die. Buddhas do not have more of it. Sengen beings do not have less.

[38:33]

When you have illusions or doubts, you cannot ask the right question. And when you have satori, you cannot express it. Moment by moment, consider nothing with your personal consciousness. 24 hours out of 24, you should be as calm, as vastly tranquil as the dead. Think of nothing on your own. This way, breathing out and breathing in, both your deepest nature and your sentient nature will become unconsciously non-knowing, non-understanding. Then naturally, everything can become the calm radiance of Komyo in oneness of body and mind. Therefore, when there is a call, the answer must come quickly. One and the same, komyo, harmonizes both enlightened and deluded people into one whole.

[39:38]

Even if you move, the movement should not disturb. Forest, flowers, blades of grass, animals, people, all phenomena, long or short, square or round, can be realized immediately. automatically and without any action by the individual intelligence and independent of the mind or will. Do not care about clothes or food or a home. Do not give away to sensual desire or the attachment of love, for that is, I don't want to say what that is. He said that's what animals do, but we are animals. I don't agree with everything. I don't think of animals in the same way that they think of it. Also, it is useless to ask other people about Komyo, because their Komyo can be of no use to you at all. Before time began, this Samadhi was the holy dojo, like the ocean of all the Buddhas.

[40:45]

It is the greatest and most holy of all sittings, transmitted directly from Buddha to Buddha through the universal practice of zazen. Now, being disciples of Buddha yourself, you should practice zazen peacefully in the Buddha seat. Do not sit on the cushion of hell, the gaki, the animal. the ashira cushion, or even on the cushion of shomon or engaku. Those are, I won't explain those. Practice nothing but shikantaza. Do not waste time. That is what is known as the true spirit of the dojo and the true komyozo samadhi, wonderful and splendid freedom. In the shodoka, which Yoko Daishi wrote, there is nothing to find in the world of no person, not even Buddha. The innumerable cosmos themselves are like bubbles in the ocean. All the wisest and most venerable people are like streaks of lightning in the sky.

[41:51]

The brilliance of Komyozo Zamae is everywhere, in every mind, everywhere in the cosmos. You must believe it. It has nothing to do with any particular individual illumination. Our mind must be the storehouse, the greenery of that divine light. We must have faith in this illumination which has no special substance situated in any particular place in the cosmos. The fundamental essence of Komyozo Zamae is Mushotoku, unremitting effort. Unremitting effort does not mean choosing or abandoning oneself to samadhi only. do not prefer to coo the void or on the pretext that cheeky things should be rejected. This is a religious problem, not a social problem. That's very interesting.

[42:54]

When you have understood this, your mind will reflect gentleness and compassion. A sense of conviction comes, but without any act of will, and you harmonize with all existences, creating more and more infinite beauty. This is the true Komyozo, shining out in our isolation. I'm sorry, in our resolution. Very different. Has nothing to do with what you show other people. It is secret. True religion is like that. But that's just a part of his, yeah. Raghav.

[44:12]

Raghavendra, right? Yeah, Indra, the chief of the gods. Yeah. To Shikantaza, state of life. Just this. Just this. No stage. Just this. Just this. If you go any further, you can. But it's best just this. Because just this is great co-op. 24-7. Yes. Just this.

[45:15]

Just this. Just this. I think you answered my question, but I'll ask it anyways. Yes. I'm paraphrasing what you talked about yesterday or the day before. To go good and bad is not the point. The perfect peace or composure is the point. Yes. And that perfect composure is non-thinking mind, just this. Beyond thinking mind, yes, just this. Thinking mind is always included, but it's not the point. And beyond 24-7. Yes, you've been wanting to say something for a long time. Yeah, it's really bugging me.

[46:18]

I know. I think I misunderstood something you said, and so I need clarification. So, you were talking about the storehouse of experiences, everything that's happened, unconscious memories, whatever, and then the false self. And... The ego, yes. The ego. So, the storehouse of memories you were saying was real. Well, I'm not going to use the word real or unreal with that. It's where all of our memory, it's the storehouse of our memory of everything. Okay, so say one of us is repeatedly beaten as a child? Yes. All those, your feelings, it's not the beating, it's how you feel, your feelings, your thoughts, your experience is recorded, is recorded in your recorder, yes. And they're carried in the body so they continue to be real?

[47:19]

The feelings are real feelings, yes. So how, so wouldn't and say they're repeated experiences, right? And they come to shape who we are. So how does that relate to non-self, to not having? Because it's the self that continues to reinforce the feelings that you have from those experiences. You can let go of the reinforcement of those feelings. You know, sometimes we say, we complain about our parents, you know, they were mean to me, and so we get into where we're blaming the parents for everything, and it's really, we're not looking at ourselves. But we're not looking at ourselves, how we're creating our picture, our representation, and our imagination of what happened.

[48:28]

And we think that we have to carry this around forever because it was imposed on us. But what's imposed on us and what we glean from that, we don't have to carry that around. Like Lourdes in France, where the place where you, people go with their, and they do their praying and they leave all this stuff. there, and all their crutches, and all their, and they go, you can let go of it. Of course, in our imagination, right? We let go of our imaginative, malade imaginaire. It's not necessary, we think, well, I'm not imagining this. I really feel it. Yeah, we feel what we imagine. I'm not saying it's all imagination, but we reinforce our problems. and carry them around with us. And we say, they did it to me.

[49:32]

But we, they may have been instrumental, but we receive it and we do something with what we receive. And we don't have to carry it around. This is called letting go. So it's possible to let go. Hard. So, we are creating the karma that carries around and we can't get off the wheel. This is basic Buddhism, where one thing leads to another, and we keep reinforcing the seeds in our store consciousness, which creates the feeling that I was punished and I'm carrying around my punishment. and it informs what I do, but I can actually forgive my parents and say, I see you understand, understanding and repenting, and then you free yourself.

[50:39]

I don't want to feel that anymore. I feel free. So that's the dharma, is how do we free ourself and not blame, even though there's plenty of room for blame. but we can relieve ourselves, we can let go of... You see people walking around like this, you know, and sitting like this, with all the world on top of their shoulders. You can, you know, let go. You don't have to carry it around. And then, if you let go, you have to, well, now what do I do now? Because you're not prepared for that. But that's okay. We are supposed to step out unprepared. Is things as it is underneath everything? Yes. Does the reality be within?

[51:42]

So that's like the place where everything is connected? That's where the place where everything is connected, yes. We're all connected subliminally. I just feel like it's hard to see truth when we're in different places and we don't connect. So is things as it is, like truth? Zazen. Yes, truth. Because when we sit zazen together, we have all of our individual stuff going on, and that all settles. And then our intuition, you know, we move around each other in a different way. And there's something we know about ourselves and each other which we can't really explain or express except in our actions. So, then what is things as it is in conflict?

[52:45]

Things as it is is not conflict. Things as it isn't is conflict. I guess what I mean is how do we find things as it is in conflict? Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, well, how do you find your peace in zazen? You breathe, you let out, you know, that's a good question. You're depending on something other than your discriminating mind. When you're depending on something other than your discriminating mind, he said in here, Think, answer quickly. Your answer comes out quickly. I mean, what quickly means without thinking. And it's right thought, because it's not discriminating thought. It's thought that's not based on like and dislike, right and wrong, good and bad.

[53:50]

It's correct thought, which addresses the question. but we always want to address the question with right and wrong, good and bad, should be, shouldn't be, and then we fall into, well, let's punish this person this way, and we don't see the subtle picture of how you actually deal with the situation. So that allows us to view the subtle picture, the subtleties of our picture. to deal with it in an appropriate way. The deeper you go, the more appropriate your response can be. When it's just all up here in your thinking, you just do what you think the only thing you can do, but there's something that can be done which is much deeper. And to access that composure,

[54:52]

allows us to ... this is why, you know, a teacher is always working with a student and the students are really bad in an ordinary way, but the teacher, the student is not good or bad or right or wrong. There's something, some other underlying connection, which goes on forever. You said that the five skandhas are the doors of perception. I said the five senses. Five senses, thank you. That lead to informing consciousness. And then you said that mountain has consciousness. So my question is, how do we avoid anthropomorphizing so-called non-sentient beings, and maybe it's just another way of saying, everything has its virtue.

[56:09]

Yes, everything is what it is. That's its virtue. Where is the ear in the mountain or something like that? Well, that's because we answer it with morphology. I didn't say the mountains have ears, but they do. You know, usually in a discriminating way, we say these are insentient beings and these are sentient beings, right? But we say all, the whole universe is an insentient being. But we say, well, where are the senses? Just because we're thinking in a certain shallow way. Did it open your mind? Yeah, anthropomorphizing. Yeah, it's not an anthropomorphic thing, it's more of a bigger understanding, a wider understanding, because we are mountains, mountain is me.

[57:14]

I am the mountain. When we think of the mountain as an object, I am walking on the mountain. I am me, and the mountain is, it's true, the mountain is the mountain, and I am me, but I am also the mountain, and the mountain is also me. So the mountain is alive. We talk about, actually, if you understand rock, there's live rock, and we talk about it as living rock. because there's the tone of the rock. The rock is speaking. You ever watch Sesame Street? Sesame Street? Well, sesame seeds do speak. But Sesame Street. Sometimes the language is a little salty. Right. I remember when Daniel was a kid, and we used to live up there where the Sanakes lived. And I'd go up there and I'd break, you know, and I'd peek at Sesame Street on the TV, and the Rocks, and we're like, this is a Rock.

[58:23]

What do you think, Joe? Well, I don't know. So that's how I know that Rock's dead. feeling of catch and release, you know, sometimes I'm the fish and sometimes I'm the person catching. But I was a little caught last night, maybe because I was looking forward to it. Usually we bow to you before we say something. Was it something I did? Was it something I said? Yeah, because you were such a naughty girl, I didn't know. But I have to say that sometimes I'm thinking about something, you know, and I just wander around. I come into this endo, you know, I've got these thoughts in my mind and I don't bow, you know, and I make big mistakes.

[59:28]

Thank you so much. I think not thinking. I think not thinking, yes. This is going to be the last one. the what gets between us and this moment and our role in it. And I just wanted to mention that we're going to wash all the windows again next. Yeah, even though they're clean. Even though they're clean. What's the name of the last? Yes, I had my question is a practical question because they brought the sensation, pain. I wouldn't know until we get let go. And until, I mean, that we can internalize the Zen so much and let go of these pictures. Yes. I mean, all these things. And I just want to know, until then, as a Zen practitioner, when, for a Zen practitioner, you can say that, I have too much pain, I can take some medication.

[60:42]

Yeah, you can do that. That, I mean, or it has to just, kind of a struggle and not to kind of numb oneself with the emotions. Because, I mean, I'm just saying, it's like, because it's just, what is the limit? Someone has to know. Then has to, like the emotion is too much or the pain or sensation or whatever. It's too much and one has to allow oneself to say, I'm going to numb myself because this is it. You can, yeah, you find that out. So I would say to you, I won't say to all people, because everyone is different, you in your particular stage of practice, and I would say, if it's too painful, change. At some point in your practice, if you continue to practice for a long time, then you will someday say, I'm not gonna let the pain

[61:45]

Dominate me. And then you'll start to have maybe a different outlook. But for now, when it's too painful, just change. It's okay. Yeah, I don't know what you're saying exactly, but... Go ahead. I wouldn't say that to everybody. But I think that's correct for you, because you need that.

[62:17]

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