This is just for my own use. Chapter 1 and thinking about spiritual awakenings. Okay. One time when I was walking through a parking lot, I must have been about 15 or 16, and I suddenly had this feeling that the my daily life activity was not my real life. It was my real life, but it was what I was involved with. I felt that I had a life besides that life, and that life wasn't being expressed. It was there, but it wasn't. I felt that my real life wasn't what I was doing. a kind of higher life, for lack of a better word, higher, but more deeper life, deeper quality of life that was my real life.

[01:18]

And this was a kind of just kind of superficial you know, acting out. Going to school seemed to me superficial. And just all the activity around me seemed superficial. You felt like you were acting, like an actor? Well, kind of going through the motions, you know, of life. And there was something missing. And I kind of knew what that was, but I didn't. In a deep way, I knew what that was, but I hadn't had... Since there was no one else around, I felt that everyone else was in this other mode. And I really didn't have anybody to relate to in the deeper mode that I was feeling.

[02:23]

I think that realization stayed with me, but I didn't know what to do with it or about it. What was the exact realization? It was more like the realization that there was a real life that was going on inside. It's not what was being expressed in my activity. And all that activity was a kind of cover, covering it up. And I needed to release that somehow. But it was a very deep feeling. I mean, it was a very tangible feeling of, this is not my real life.

[03:35]

And I really wanted to get in touch with, or, you know, play out my real life. Play out your real life. Yeah, my real life, yeah. And I think it came out, my, spirituality at the time came out just in my tolerance for people. I always remember having a kind of sympathy for women, you know, that women and men were equal. I always said that. And I remember talking about that with people. Really? Yeah. When you were young? Yeah. And I remember when I was in junior high, And my mother and my aunt were talking together and I came in and I said something about, I didn't like the fact that people called African Americans niggers.

[04:44]

And my aunt said, isn't he broad-minded? I remember that. So I always had sympathy for people who were not treated equally, and both third world, what we call third world people now, and women. And I was generous. I remember when I was about six, and we were walking down the street, and I found a penny in the street. And that was something. And I gave it to my brother, because I just felt generous. I just felt like it would make him happy if I gave it to him. And he would look at me in a strange look.

[05:47]

Why would you do that? But that's kind of, you know, I felt I had that kind of generous feeling toward people, you know. So I think that was kind of my expression of my innate spirituality. And then every once in a while it's an incident, you know, what happened, like the walking across the parking lot and feeling that what, you know, doing all this stuff that I'm supposed to do, was not my real life. And there was something much deeper that was my real life. And I just thought I was looking for that. And then even when I was in the service, I remember there was,

[06:50]

This guy, he comes from North Carolina, you know. And this one huge guy, he was a roper. He was talking about dead niggers, you know. And I said, well, I said, I don't like it when you talk like that, you know. I was about 17. I said, people that way, you know. He said, you nigger lover. And I said, no, I think that's right, I am. And I couldn't understand that at all. So I always had this, you know, strong feeling for equality and inclusiveness. Inclusiveness. Yeah. And also a kind of interest in people from different places.

[08:06]

Rather than being afraid of them, I was more interested in them, or threatened by them, or denigrating them. I felt much more like it was really very interesting to me to relate to them. So I think that was also part of my expression of innate spiritual life. And then, you know, so this is, you know, I'm trying to stay within the bounds of, before our school. I'm sure you could show some copies. any dreams or any other things that might have given you some opening to that.

[09:14]

The world was not really like what your parents were presenting to you. Well, not just my parents. And the school. My world was not what the world was presenting to me. Right. Exactly. Yeah. But The alternatives to me, they were not real. I wasn't going to go to church. That was totally out of the question. And there was just nothing around me to stimulate my spiritual awakening. No opportunities. for anybody. I mean, you know, I wasn't the kind of kid that would go off on my own and do something. So I just kind of, you know, I was happy to leave home.

[10:21]

I mean, I was thrilled to leave home at 17 and go in the service. And it was good, you know, the service was good. I mean, out there on the airfield all day, you know, as an aircraft mechanic, and, you know, crew chief on the airplanes, and, you know, with the propellers going all the time, and the wind, and my buddies, you know, and putting out the fires as they, you know, when you start up the airplane, sometimes you flood the engine, and then you start a fire. And so, it was just normal. And then we put the fire out, it was CO2. That was a little CO2. It was the fire extinguishers. And you just put the fire out. It was just normal procedure. And then you'd check out the planes so that the pilots could fly them.

[11:24]

Then you'd bring the planes in, lead them in and all this. And we just had a lot of fun out there. But it was, you know, you learn a lot. And you learn a lot about being with other men. That's just all different kinds of men. All different kinds of men. So Chad, what did you learn about being, talk a little more about that. You know, you have to give up certain things. You have to give up a lot of your own disposition, your own desire to do things your own way. And you learn how to cooperate. You're not the only car on the road. You're not the only car on the road, that's right.

[12:28]

And you learn to do things together. and cooperate, and you have a common purpose. And you learn to get along with different individuals that have different personalities. All these guys have different personalities, and yet we're all doing the same thing. And so you have a lot of bonding, male bonding. And you're doing masculine work, you know? And you're doing masculine work together, which always, you know, feels good. And you learn to follow orders. And somehow, you know, like, the society that you're in is more important than the individual.

[13:34]

But it's not that the individual doesn't count. The individual does count. But everybody's effort is going into, you know, making this thing that you're involved in work. It's like a monastic community. It's very much like a monastic community. except that the goals are different, but a lot of the mechanics are very similar. You get up early in the morning, and you have your rhythm, your daily rhythm. Yeah, you're part of a larger bouquet. It kind of comes up together and manifests all day. Except that you're studying different stuff. Oh yes, quite. You're studying war. We're studying the fascicles.

[14:41]

You're studying war instead of studying peace. But you're doing both of them in a harmonious way. Actually, yeah, we're studying war. But we didn't study much more. It was more like just routine operations. So it was a good experience. I think that's it. I want to stop. Do you have anything else that you want to say? Maybe the last question is, when you said that you thought that you might either be a soldier or... Well, that's right. So I took care of the soldier side. And then after that, I took care of the artist side.

[15:44]

But when you finished with that, those years of service, that felt complete. No, that was definitely complete. As a matter of fact, I was still in the reserve when I quit. And then the Korean War came. And I was in school. I was in art school. Did I tell you this? No, never. Never mentioned this before. Is this still going? Yeah. So the Korean War kind of crept up on everybody because it was not a real war. I mean, it was not a declared war. There was this trouble going on in Korea, you know. And then suddenly they started calling up the reserves. And I'd been out for a couple of years. I just happened to have this reserved status, you know. And I was going to art school. And then one day I received a notice that said, report to your draft board and take a physical. Not draft board, but yeah, I guess report to the... Concrete center.

[16:51]

Yeah, something like that. Yeah, and take a physical. And so I did. I went down and took the physical. They said, okay. You're OK. Too bad. You're just fine. And then I was supposed to go to San Diego. And I had my bags all packed. I didn't want to do this. And I got up in the morning. And I got up in the morning, and under the door was a letter. And inside the letter was an application that said, if you want to resign from the Reserves, fill out this reform and send it in. So I filled out the form and sent it in. And I was all ready to go. That morning. Wow. And that's your first day from going into the Korean War. Yeah. I just finished, the other day, a whole novel. In the Korean War? Yeah. You're lucky.

[17:52]

David Luke did the whole thing. Who? David Luke. Oh, David Luke. He had great talks on it. That's amazing timing. Yeah, I mean, that was what my life was like when I was going to art school. I'd run out of money. And then I'd run out of money, and then the next day, there'd be a check from someplace in the mail. My life has always been like that. It's nice, isn't it? It's exciting. It keeps you excited. Yeah, I always thought that I had a guardian angel. You know? Yeah? Yeah. You believe in guardian angels? Well, I don't believe in them. I just feel that I have one. I just always feel that I have one. Really? Like providence, you know? I always thought that providence was on my side. What's providence? I don't know. I think it just means... Like destiny or fate or something? Well, providence means like the upside of life, you know?

[18:55]

The beneficial... The beneficial side of life. The beneficial side of destiny. It was on your side, I think. I'm pretty sure that's it. Do you have a dictionary? Yeah, you do have a dictionary. Yeah, I have one over here. Whoops. That's my German-English dictionary. Uh-oh. There's a little blue one. It's a regular English dictionary. Is that one? I have Yiddish, French, German. This is English. Okay. Providence. NLP. This is my bifocal.

[20:00]

I just got bifocals. I got progressive lenses. They didn't work for me. Preparation, care, or preparation in advance, foresight, prudent management, economy, Divine care and guardianship. That's the definition. Divine care and guardianship. I like that. That's what you have felt. Divine care and guardianship. Even as bad as I have been, I've always felt that. Even as bad as you feel? Yeah. I know totally my bad side. I'll get it out of you. I know how a good first chapter.

[21:02]

That's not the sun. It's clearly not the sun. That's right. We're moving away. I want to come back to what's the difference between creating the greater light and the lesser light on the fourth day and creating light as a concept. We'll come back to that. But right now, to pick up on Lou's point, the fact that the sun and the moon are not created until the fourth day, in part, is making a theological point to the other nations, the idol-worshipping nations, that the sun is not an object of worship because it's just another one of those things that God created that did not exist until God brought them into existence. That's really important. To do away with sun worship. To do away with sun worship, exactly. You know, there's another possibility. Nobody knows how the sun was created.

[22:02]

And if indeed everything was gaseous, then there might have been an area of light with no solidified structure. Exactly, and that's what, remind me of Jane. Jane, that's what Jane was suggesting, I think, when she said God organized the light. what I was thinking of, sort of bringing it together. I want to pick up, though, on the first thing that was said. I don't know if I can grab onto it. It was about that God preceded creation. Will you continue to something like that? Say yes. Yes, that's exactly because God created everything else. God is independent. If God predates, then it means that God was always, which we believe, but if God was always magnificent without this creation consciousness. Right. And it's bound to create creation. Yes, this is so essential. Yeah, thank you. So essential. And let's see, is anyone here studying Maimonides with me? Yeah, Brielle Merrill and a little Marianne. So this is essential.

[23:05]

Maimonides articulates this very clearly, over and over again, that there are different views of creation. The philosophers, the Greek philosophers, for example, have the notion of creation being Yes, there is a creator, but the matter that is used in creation exists along with the creator. You mean that was already there? The matter is already there in some unorganized form, as Jane said. God just organizes it, or decides to, yeah, organizes it and makes it into the world as we know it. But the matter, I'm going to go for a minute here. The matter always existed alongside with God, with the creator. And that is in, the Jewish view is in absolute opposition to that. It's as opposite as you can get and still have the notion of a creator. That is, the Jewish view, as represented here, is that God predates matter. Predates. God exists, and out of God's will, I'm saying it better now this time.

[24:11]

God exists, and out of God's will, and nothing more than God's will, matter comes into being. So God is eternal and matter is not eternal. God is eternal and matter is something that God willingly, through will, brings into existence and will eventually not exist again. Probably. I mean, if something comes into existence, that means it has an end to its existence. No, no, I'm talking about matter. I'm talking about like atoms. I'm talking about I mean, we relate to that by saying life and death, that if something is born, by definition that something is subject to change and time, and that thing will eventually die or decay. The universe is contracting. I thought it was expanding. But I think it's reborn. Well, whatever, it's moving.

[25:12]

It's aging. And it's aging. And it just seems that way because there's more people. That's right. My universe is on track, I'm sorry. No, it doesn't. It keeps expanding. Let me, one thing, because this is verse two of creation. So it begins as Marilyn read for us, In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Where heavens and earth is merism. There's a word here that means from beginning to end, if you say from A to Z, or from hot to cold, or from the babies to the elders. It's an expression that's meant to include everything. There are different ways of saying it, but it's that the heavens and the earth means everything. And then it says, the earth, and the earth, tohu vavohu, and the earth was tohu vavohu, which means just wilderness and waste. V'choshech alpanei tahom. And darkness was over the face of the tahom, which is the waist.

[26:18]

And this is the key thing. V'ruach Elohim m'rachepet alpanei hamayim. Ruach means spirit or breath. Let's use breath right now because I think that, but spirit or breath of Elohim, of God, m'rachepet alpanei hamayim. over the face of the waters. And what did it do over the face of the waters? Remember waters is the stand is the basic like matter stuff of creation. Merecheped, shimmered, hovered, quivered, something like that. Okay, it's so key, it's so beautiful. Talking about the universe contracting and expanding. This is movement. And what is movement? Movement is a way of measuring time. Movement and time are like together. That's how you know time's passing, because things move and change. And so the first act of creation is this movement, this breath of God hovering over the waters, which sets into motion.

[27:28]

Whether we're expanding or contracting, it doesn't matter. When you say we're contracting and some say we're expanding, it doesn't matter. We're moving. And that's time, that's life as we know it. And God exists outside of that. You know what I think of is last week we were talking about how Moses died. He died with a kiss, meaning God took a breath. So with God's breath, he created as well as... Oh, that's beautiful Pam. That's very beautiful. Let's see, you had your hand up in marijuana to say something too. Oh, okay, thank you. Maybe you've already covered this, but in verse 4 it says that God separated the light from the darkness. Yeah. Now, it seems to me that darkness and light cannot coexist, so there's nothing to separate. If you create light, the darkness just disappears. You walk into a dark room and turn the light on, the darkness just goes away. It's separated by time.

[28:29]

That's an interesting response. That's why I thought light is a great metaphor, too, because there was just nothing and darkness. Also, it's very dramatic. If you're writing and trying to make something of the creation, let there be light. Yes, it's very forceful. And then they get the details later. So maybe a lot is made of this, but I think it's very dramatic. laws now and there's boring or different laws. Also, I keep going back to the law of thermodynamics that you mentioned, because what's supposed to happen is everything is supposed to be the same temperature, the same amount of light, and everything is supposed to be totally the same. Of course, the third law I think it is, and everybody says how boring. But the interesting thing is, that's what it seems like before too.

[29:33]

Because who knows what God can imagine? Well, this is true. But I think that explains how comes the day of Shabbat, like it started sundown, because it says first there's evening, and then there's morning. Well, that's true. That is how we say. So we separate it by time, because that's, and then you've got a day. So I think first there's darkness, and then the light comes on. I was just saying. Yeah, even though, yeah. But it's the sun that does that. Well, later on it did. Well, now we even hear that the sun... No, but Kathy has a really interesting point, that even before the sun and the moon were created, that in this... I mean, who knows? This is mythical, so you can't... you can't try to answer questions using science when this is myth. But yeah, go ahead. The tradition, at least, the rebelling tradition says this is the thing But now we're getting to mysticism. But it's true. But this is the light that we're discussing, at least for the first four days.

[30:48]

Let me explain that. I actually gave a sermon on that a couple of years ago. Yes, what the mystics do with this, not just the mystics, I guess the rabbis in general do with this, is say, yes, this was the first light that was withdrawn, and this light is reserved for the righteous. Somehow, there's a whole theme I should pull that sermon out, I forgot. There's a whole thing through Jewish thought about this light. Is this familiar to you at all? I'm not even remembering the details of it, but this is like the primordial light, the pre-existing light that will eventually come back in the world to come, but right now it's like... It's hidden from us. It's hidden. But you know, I mean, I even lived on a Moshe Avko, but I mean, in terms of science, it's perfect science because You don't have everything light, even though when you have light, as soon as you create solid matter, there's a dark side and a light side. As soon as the Earth is created, you know, there's a part where light can be blocked.

[31:51]

If there's light, then a dark, then... As soon as you create solid matter. Right. And what we see is a progression from gas to liquid to solid. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I find it perfectly consistent with science. understand the science of it. Yeah. Yeah. At that level, I agree with you. But when people talk about... And I also understand Orhaga News. I mean, I respect their opinion, too. Yeah. The Hidden Light. That's a popular name. Yeah. There's a famous scene in Hair of the Wind where Charles Darrow is This is Inherit the Wind, which is a story of a conflict between the creationists and the fundamentalists. Yeah, and he felt that, you know, that six days and how long was a day in those days? And just because there's a light and a dark doesn't mean that this is 24 hours.

[32:51]

Especially because the sun hasn't been created yet. That's right. And so you cannot always take this exactly. not in conflict with Darwinism or anything. It can be, you know, reconciled with science. If you're willing to not be too well-oriented. That's right. Exactly. I mean, he won the Ogden and lost the cases in Tennessee, but William James Bryan was the arch, you know, right-wing Christian who felt that you have to read this exactly. Right. And so it was very interesting. And let me just say the last word of this. The sentence of this was that there's a reporter who's supposed to write Mencken, and he walks over to Darrow at the end and says, you're really a religious person. Because he was open and accepted the Bible as what it was, and not have to lean on it for all its, you know, logic.

[33:57]

It was very interesting. You know what you're reminding me, Larry, this is just a personal note. When I was like in middle school, and I don't remember what age, but some, probably not high school, I did a report on the Scopes Trial. And I remember that probably better than anything else I learned in school. Everything you're saying, I remember all that. Not that last line, you're really the religious person. I wouldn't have understood that at age 12, you know. But I just, I'm sitting here thinking, wow. Here's a link between that 12-year-old and this person here, I guess. Thank you for remembering that. It's really very dramatic and very well written. What is it? Lawrence Arthur is the author of the play, yes. In Hair at the Wind. In Hair at the Wind, right. It's wonderful. Wonderful. Oh, yes. It's a very good movie. Just about the idea of biblical studies and and there was not a verse to sign. You could teach the Bible and you could teach, you know, Darwin theory.

[35:04]

It was irreconcilable as long as you knew that these were symbolic stories as well as, you know, some of it historical. That's what's very interesting. I'm thinking about, I naturally went to Samson Raphael Hirsch, who I often go to for these things to see what he has to say. He's a little more on that literal side. That is, when he represents most of traditional Judaism, when he talks about that God brings everything, listen to this. Here, everything stands or falls on this. Everything, all material, all forms, everything existing, has sprung from the completely free, almighty, creative will of God. Still today, the Creator rules completely freely over the material and form of all creatures. This is a God who is actively involved, day by day, in the life of the creation.

[36:08]

Let me just read a little bit more. Go ahead, Esten. No, but this harkens back to what you said at the beginning of the hour. About free will. We are created in God's image, we also have free will. And this is our guideline to using that free will. Yes, and the Torah is our guideline. So this is God, the Creator, who rules completely, freely over the material and form of all creatures, over the forces that work in matter, over the laws that govern that working, and over the resulting forms. For it is God's free, almighty will that created matter, that embodied the forces which work within it, and it is God's law which governs the results. And as he ruled free will over his world, he could invest man in whom he agrees, oh then he goes on to free will. I don't want to do that yet. Anyway, but then he talks here, he makes a nice play, it's a word play that I, you know, it was on the edge of my mind and I never really got it.

[37:13]

The word nes, in Hebrew, has two meanings. The word that's most often, al ha nisin, we say during Hanukkah and Purim, for all of these miracles. So the word nes or nisin means miracles. And maybe you know someone who has a Hebrew name, nisin. It's a popular name in Israel. The word also means Nase means banner, as in flag. And, you know, there's certain words I get kind of confused. I thought, you know, like, my keeper's not pulling, you know, I'm a little confused. So I looked it up, and sure enough, so listen to what he said. It's the same word, it has two different meanings. I mean, it's true in English that the same word can have two different meanings. See, this is a long sentence, I just have to see where it starts. Okay, so he said, when we come to realize that the world was created for a sheep, came into existence completely out of God's hands, which is to say it didn't exist before and it came completely out of God's hands, we see that, we understand the free will, unlimited sway of God over the world that it had to be proved.

[38:29]

How can God prove God's unlimited sway over the world? How can God prove God's self? How will God prove that God is here and is creator of the world? Through miracles. It's the only way God can make God's presence known. Because the way the world works looks like it's nature, because it's predictable. And we say, well that's just the way the world is. And God, the way God makes God's self known is through miracles. God says, this is my creation, I do with it as I want. I made this vase. I painted it this way. If I want to add another piece of something on this vase, I can do that. It's my creation. Do you understand? So, he then says, these miracles, as we've seen, are banners held aloft as directing and guiding signs to lead us back to regaining the consciousness of the free, completely unhindered, all might, the completely free, unhindered might of God.

[39:34]

And so he uses the play on the word Nisim as miracles or banners held aloft to direct our consciousness in God's direction. Yeah, well, I mean, then you have to, this is Hirsch, and you have to, except his notion that God indeed creates miracles. That's really not what we're discussing, and different people in this room will have different views about that. But from Hersh's point of view, from a somewhat fundamentalist Jewish reading of this, a literal reading of this, that's the logical consequence. If God creates from nothing, and this is all God's creation, then God of course can change this at will. If God willed it in to being in the first place, God can will a change that looks to us like a miracle, which is a nace, which is a banner indicating God's presence.

[40:35]

Very nice. So let's go. We have about ten minutes. Let's talk about the notion of free will. Now Esther, you know in a way you've cut to the bottom line, which is the Torah is the guide for human beings who are created with free will. But I still, I'd like to back up. Where in here, where in this text Do we see, or do we see, that human beings are created with free will? Well, in our image, and it doesn't necessarily have to mean physical image, it can be moral, spiritual, creative. So, is that okay? Is that what you're saying? No, I have a 28 where he says, and God bless He said, fill the earth and master it, and rule the pits of the sea, the birds of the sky, and all the living things that creep on earth. In other words, learn how to work with it and understand it, and get it all to work. Uh-huh. So you're in charge, but being in charge means you need to make decisions.

[41:38]

Right. Yeah. Yeah. But he also, someone, I've read, heard he kind of, someone talk on the show, batting. We've got two forces kind of playing with each other. We kind of have that battle instinct over our resilience. That is one explanation of the plural, our image. That's one explanation which I happen to like, but there are others as well. I'll just separate this out from what you know later, that he calls people to task because they're stiff-necked, meaning that they can act on their own and they're not He cannot... He can punish, but he cannot direct him and make him different. So, are you all familiar with what Larry's talking about? Like the pharaoh's stiff neck?

[42:39]

Well, these were stiff necked Hebrews in the desert, and they were acting against God's orders. He could not... Stiff necked like stubborn? Stubborn. Yeah, stiff necked is the word, cache aura. They could not have them act the same way all the time. They would constantly stray, and that's free will. That's exactly what's happening. Yeah, God's always complaining. These are stiff-necked people. I'm going to do away with them. And Moses keeps going, no, [...] no. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait. Give them another chance. When it says, let us make them in our image, after our likeness, couldn't that be like an empirical kind of image? Meryl, could you pull the blinds so the sun doesn't come in so quickly? Empirical in what sense? As a king. As we. Oh, oh, the royal. The royal we. You know, it could be. What I don't know is whether that's a quality of our language. And I don't know if that was a quality of the early Hebrew language and of the early Hebrew thought, whether there was a concept of a royal we in the ancient Middle East.

[43:46]

I just don't know. It could be. What is the note for that? The note suggests that? Well, but his note, I must say, where's the note? Oh, yeah. Either a majestic plural or spoken to an angelic court. See, those are two other explanations. Kathy gave one that I happen to like, that the hour refers to the animals which have just been created. On the sixth day. And also then to God's own nature. The rabbis don't talk about the royal week. That's what's sort of interesting, is their explanation. But the rabbis give this other explanation of the heavenly court, the angelic court, that God is saying to the angels, let's make human beings in our image. The heavenly hosts, it's all those all those sort of ephemeral creatures that spend their entire existence going kadosh, kadosh, kadosh. Who created them?

[44:47]

God did, so someone would, you know. We all like to be agitated. Not everybody has free will. Yeah, those angels don't have free will. They don't. Right. They don't. Oh, there's this whole slew of midrash about that. The angels say, give us the Torah. Why? Give me it to humans. And Moses has to, it's a long address, that would have been great to bring. And Moses has to argue, and behave on behalf of human beings, why we should get, God says, Moses, you explain to the angels, and you defend why I should give you the Torah, and not them. Moses has to go up to the heavenly court, and explain, well, you know, you're angels, you don't get tempted by anything, so you don't need the Torah, but us, we need the Torah. He gives several like, you know, explanations why angels, they're so close to, well, they're just, they're really, they're not perfect. Actually, they're less than perfect because they're so simple. They're so simple that there's no, like, yeah, they don't have anything.

[45:48]

They don't have appetites, either emotional appetites or physical appetites. They don't have anything to do but go kadosh, kadosh, kadosh all day long. Holy, holy, holy is God. That's all they do. And carry messages. And carry messages. But, you know, the tradition is they're messengers for God and then as soon as the message is delivered, they're like, they're done too, because they're just messengers. But they would be warring God because they didn't have appetite. No, no, I know what you mean, but not really. When Elie Wiesel was asked whether he believed in free will or determinism, he responded, Of course I believe in free will. I have no choice. There you go. So Jewish. That's great. We can be serious and poke fun at the same time. That is a great thing. I love that. All right. So, yes? It seems to me the angels must have some sort of free will because there's bad angels too. Because what?

[46:51]

Because what? Lucifer, he said, and I buzzed him down. And then there's the other concept. You know, there's something about stubbornness and there's something about being stiff like that you don't really, you're not exercising your free will. You're just being very closed. That's interesting. You think being stubborn is not exercising your free will? No, because you're very closed. You're not thinking. You're not making any, you just, I made the decision, or you may not even come up with a decent reason for having made that decision, You decide, well, that's what I said, and it goes, you know what I mean? And you know, it's very tough. I think when somebody's narrow-minded, they're not using their free will. They're not thinking. They're just deciding, that's the way it is, or, you know, that's what we refuse to reason. It's like being closed. You know, being closed and angry, or... You know, the response to that, I think, would be... Go ahead, Larry. It's only if you're wrong. No, I think if you're right and step back, then you're free will. I mean, so I don't think that you can really, that has no meaning. I'm not talking about being right or wrong and deciding, well, this is the correct thing. Because when you come up with the correct decision, you can depend on what you have thought about it, you can rethink it, and you have faith in that decision.

[47:58]

What I'm talking about is when you've decided to push your mind, somebody's absolutely stubborn. There's a difference between being right and pursuing the correct course. Wait a second. I got your point. So here's the question. If someone is convinced that they're right, someone say, for example, like Hitler, does that mean that they are not liable to punishment? Because they're so sure they're right that you can't say, well, you chose this of your own free will. No, because they are liable to punishment because they have made a wrong decision and they're refusing no matter who went up to him, God himself went up to him, or herself, God himself went up to Hitler and said, you're wrong, you listen to reason, the person would not listen. That's reasonable. Right, that's reasonable. Tina, there are things you'd advise. I don't want to go into that. I'm talking about the closeness of mind, that's what I'm talking about. Okay, so it's interesting. That's something for us to think about. I'm not sure that I agree with it, but something to think about. Isaac was a step back. I mean, if you want to think of somebody stubbornly going forward, even against his at night and take him for a... you have to... that's just faith.

[49:00]

No, what I'm thinking about is... Abraham said it, Isaac, yes. What I'm talking about is only this. When somebody can't talk to you about something else, you know, we Jews have a way of thinking. Usually we can argue with each other, you know, about... we're very friendly, and I mean, you're debating a couple of different ideas and listening to each other. to make that wrong decision and refuse to back down from that wrong decision. Thank you. I think we understand your point. I'm sorry. No, don't apologize. I think we understand your point. And I'm looking at the time. That's why I'm getting a little itsy, because I really should go. I'm not sure if I haven't, like, I like to end with some great round crescendo, and I don't know if I have one. The issue about free will, this guy stopped me in the hall last night and said, so where in the first chapter of Genesis does it talk about free will? Well, it doesn't explicitly.

[50:02]

It's just all implicit. The whole thing is implicit. As you were saying, that humans are given choice. We see it even more, I give you this whole garden and only of this one tree should you not eat, which means that humans have the ability to determine their action. I mean, I'm telling you stuff you all already know. It's not explicit. God doesn't say, look, I give you free will. It's built into creation. As Esther said, it's built in God. We're made in God's image, and God has willed creation. Obviously, it just seems like it's almost a non-issue, although I can understand why someone asked it. I don't see it that way. I see it as a very limited free will. There's immediately twice that receives this. Let us make man and all objects our likeness, and immediately Right, you're not God. Yeah, you're not God.

[51:03]

You cannot rule, you know, another realm. Absolutely. It's limited. But it's okay to be, this is enough, we can hardly handle this. Well, also, we're physically limited, in a sense. Yeah, no, I think you're right, we're not God. And I think in a sense, to read it carefully, that we're not God. We're humans, and we're bounded by what that means, by being human. You know, the bed in the gray sheet means you can only don't ask what came before. This is a midrash about the shape of the first letter of the Torah, which is bracketed. I'm doing it, and from your point of view, it looks like this, which says, you can't, don't ask what's above or below or what came before this moment. You can only see what is now, since creation. So we're limited, but it's, you know, it's a pretty big playground. There was one other thing that I can't remember. So, it was in All right, but I need to go, so let's see. For those of you who are staying to help set up for the book fair, I've ordered sandwiches.

[52:06]

Oh, how nice. Thank you. And so I'll see you, for those of you who are doing that, I'll see you around 12.30, and for the rest of you, Shabbat Shalom, and with our thanking God of all days, we thank God for giving us life and for giving us Torah, but Torah in particular, Baruch Atah Adonai, Notei HaTorah. Shabbat Shalom. Shabbat Shalom. Shabbat Shalom. Thank you. Yeah! Bego Amei, Kedosh Yisrael Elohei chol ha'aretz yikarey. No, no, [...] It seems to me that they all sound the same.

[53:15]

Okay. Yeah. There's a certain logic to it. Yeah. Their life in here might have the symbols being certain. Uh huh. This is a very static, this is a very static There's only a few little detours in there. Now, what I'd like to just leave you with today is one more little combination because I want you to be able to do the full first sentence without leaving out that line. The first full sentence of the Khaftarah. There's one line we've left out. And it's going to be on your Khaftarah sheet, on your cancellation sheet. It's going to be number 24. And it's a very simple, it's a very easy one and it really looks like kind of the way it is. Um, do [...] do.

[54:39]

Yeah. So, um, here's your do, right? Da ga. Da ga. Okay. Da ga. So in this first sentence, you've got It's a very pretty one actually. And in Sentence 2, right before Yatu'al Taksochi, we've got... Yatu'al Taksochi.

[56:08]

Right? You find that? It's a pretty little squiggle. I don't think there's any more. No, actually we can sing. Ah, no. Sentence number six. Has two of them in there. If we could learn sentence number six with this one, then you've also got sentence six. Ki-che-i-sha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- That's a pretty one. You have to have really good eyes. Why? You have to have really good eyes.

[57:10]

I mean, this is large. Yeah, well we can make them bigger. Start practicing But please raise your hand first. Make sure that you know the Hebrew words. Before you get to the temptation to sing, and I know it's a real temptation, make sure your Hebrew is straightened out first. Otherwise it's going to be torture. It's just going to be, you know, chanting the wrong thing, which is no fun. Yeah. Is everybody okay on Dargat Habir? Are we working on all of verse 4 and 5? Yes. Because you just sang through them. Yeah, I've given you those to look at this week. Okay, well I'm having trouble finding a symbol in the first line of verse 5, the last word.

[58:15]

Yeah, okay, Pashta, Katon goes always together. Pashta, Katon. Pashta, Katon. After Pashta You've either got to have munah or katon, or munah katon or katon. OK? That's a rule. After pashtah, you've got to have katon or munah katon. OK? That's a combo there that is totally, you know, always the same. So the word is at-nishayik, ot-gayik. So what would be the cancellation symbol over Osai? It would have to be Katan. It's like a comma. Yes, absolutely, the class is over.

[59:18]

Are we meeting next Sunday? Uh, yeah. I think so, yeah. By the way, there's a congregant that's got a chant house to run it to. Sylvia Allen. Saturday morning. She did the Shabbat Shubah. She led it on her own. Shabbat Shubah. [...] Shabbat Sh You can find your way out of here? Oh, yes, thank you. You know how to get out of here. Thank you very much. You're so lovely, I cannot wait to come back. Where is she? I don't know. I mean, it's over there, right? I don't know. Huh? Where is she?

[60:18]

She's right there. That's her. She's far away. Twenty-six. It really takes, we have to do it every day. Yeah, the Hebrew is the hardest thing, because trying to read Hebrew and trying to read Symbols at the same time is almost impossible. It's impossible. Yeah.

[60:49]

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