I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. Good morning. Good morning. I'm happy to introduce an old friend, Vicki Austin. She was at Zen Center when I first got there in 1980. She was already there. She got ordained soon after that. worked through many positions. She was at the City when I was there, she was also at Tassajara when I was there. She had Dharma Transmission in 1999, and was the Tantra, the head teacher at Tassajara for a while, and she was also the Zen Center President for quite a long time, recently, and she's a wonderful person, and I'm looking forward to hearing what she has Good morning. So I noticed that as I was making the offering for the lecture, I noticed that the offering was pretty high up.

[01:10]

It was a pretty tall altar. And so I want to make it a little more understandable what I was doing just now with all that mumbo-jumbo at the altar. And I'm wondering whether there are any moms and dads who could volunteer to help. Thank you. So I want to give every kid a chance to offer some flower petals to the Buddha. And this Buddha that's sitting on the small altar is Samantabhadra, which is shining practice. And I picked Samantabhadra because not only does he or she sit on a, what is it, a lion or an elephant? Tiger? Anyway, maybe the kids can tell me what Samantabhadra is sitting on. Okay?

[02:14]

But also is the shining practice bodhisattva. So shining. And so when you, you can offer flower petals and make that shine, okay? And so, anyway, if you feel like doing that, parents and kids, I invite you to, and it's kind of like when you're, when you have a birthday and you, make a wish, but you don't tell anyone what the wish is. And then you blow out the candles. So you stand in front of the table and pick up a flower petal or two and hold it here. This is your third eye. And it's the eye that sees shining that people can't usually see.

[03:20]

And you might or might not know what you're seeing, you might know later. So you hold the flower petal up. And another way to think about it is that you're honoring yourself and you're holding it up, you're appreciating. And then put the flower petal into the water. And that's the practice of offering something before before, I don't know, let's see what happens. So if parents could help, that would be great, and Alex, you probably don't need a parent to help, even though Lori's just dying to help, you can do it yourself. Maybe she can help some younger kids now that you're, oh, thank you, Lori, you got to do something. My, and, Maybe you can show the other kids how.

[04:24]

Okay, so other kids, watch. Come watch, yeah. See what he's doing. Thank you. And then you can bow like this if you want. Yeah, yeah, if you want. Make a wish. Thank you. You don't have to if you don't want to. That's right, swimming is good. And that's an important part of appreciation. Did you hear that dad instruction? Did you hear it? You don't have to, but this is your only chance.

[05:27]

No, it's true, that's the kind of thing a dad says. And it's important. One of the big practices in Zen is appreciation. That's a long word, appreciation. Do you know what appreciation is? You know what appreciation is, but what is appreciation? You don't have to be a kid to answer, but kids get first dibs on answering this. But if kids don't want to answer, then grown-ups can answer, too. What is appreciation? Anyone can say. And if you don't want to tell me, you can tell somebody else. OK? It's like being happy, yeah. That's true.

[06:32]

Appreciate your what? Did you hear? Appreciate what? What? You don't have to. But that's true too, like sometimes grown-ups only get one chance too. And that's part of the beauty of life is that for a lot of things we just get one chance. Appreciation is kind of like being happy. And it's kind of like being happy with the thing that's in front of you. And that's not so common. Do you know who Buddha was and what he taught? Buddha taught something about life. You know, in this life, there's a lot of reasons to be unhappy.

[07:38]

Have you noticed? There's always something. So, I don't know, if you have a job, there's always something wrong with the job. And you're not making it up. And if you're at school, there's definitely something wrong with school. I mean, first of all, that you have to do it at all. But also, some of the things that happen at school are hard to take, like sometimes older kids torture younger kids. Have you ever noticed this? Or sometimes there are people around who don't understand. But there's also a lot to appreciate. And appreciating means being happy with it instead of being frustrated, mad, angry, or turning around and picking on someone else. And this is very important. And so a lot of the teachings of Buddhism, all the teachings of Buddhism were started by the Buddha. And Buddha means awake.

[08:39]

So Buddha's idea was that you could feel really unhappy with the things that come up, or you could feel happy, kind of like being happy with what comes up, and that there's practices associated with this. So my friend Lee, I don't know if you know her, but Lee Klinger Lesser and Mark Lesser are friends Lori's and mine from Tassajara from a long time ago. And they have two children, Jason and Carol, who are pretty grown up now. But when they were young kids, a lot of times things would happen just like they do in any family. And the difference between that family and other families that didn't have practice was that they could do something about it when they were unhappy. Do you want to hear a story about something that happened to them?

[09:41]

I have stories to tell you about that, and I also have stories by kids who grew up at Zen Center. And so you can stay for as much or as little as you want, kids, and I'll give you opportunities. Now, I am, sometimes I don't know how long I'm talking for, and so it would be really helpful if people could help me understand how long I'm talking for. So, Alex, because you're the oldest kid here, I wonder if you could help out, okay? Could you give Alex the bell, the little bell, and the stand and the ringer, okay? And Alex, if you want to show any other kid how to do this, you can. And if you put the bell in front of you, and I need a ring of the bell every three minutes, okay?

[10:44]

So if someone could give Alex a watch or a clock, that would be good. And everybody can help with this, okay? So when the bell rings, that's good. Can everybody hear it if it rings that loud? Okay, so when the bell rings, if everybody could listen for the beginning, the middle, and the end of the sound, and just be with that sound at the beginning, the middle, and the end, that would help me stay mindful. Okay? Mindful means when you know what's going on. Unmindful means when you just keep talking and don't know what's going on. Thank you very much. Okay? I need for a kid to do this because, I'm sorry, grown-ups tend to get more interested in this stuff. What are you looking for? I want to help you. You want to help me do something too?

[11:46]

That's great. Okay. So, when... Thank you. I am going to ask you to help me with something too. Okay? And let's see, what do we need? Could you help me with a meditation after the first story? And I'll tell you what it is in a minute. So this is a story by my friend Lee. And here we go. One evening as I was preparing dinner, she's saying it from the, this is a mom's story. This is a story about what it's like to be a mom.

[12:47]

My 20 month old daughter was being her familiar self. She discovered a glass of water and emptied it onto the floor. And then she went looking in the compost bucket and pulled the dog's tail. At the same time, my six-year-old son was begging me to help him make paper airplanes and complaining that he was hungry. I began to notice that I was getting irritated. My shoulders got tensed up. Could you help me be irritated? My shoulders got tensed up, and my stomach got tight, and I started thinking I was going to yell. And I remembered a song called, In, Out, Deep, Slow, Calm, Ease, Smile, Release, Present Moment, Wonderful Moment.

[13:51]

Hold up your finger when the sound ends. Now I need your help for the next time the sound comes, okay? The next time this comes, I want to give you some instructions, okay? Yeah. Here. Okay, come and sit here, okay? Come and sit here, if you would. Come and sit here. You can sit right here. Okay? Do you need a cushion or anything under your feet? Because your feet aren't touching the ground. If you want one, just get help from a grown-up.

[15:01]

So the next time the bell rings, I want you to notice who is raising their finger first, okay? And who raises their finger second and third and forth, and what I want to see is if there is any pattern to how the bell is heard. Like, can people in the front hear it better than people in the back? Can everybody hear it the same? Okay? So, do you want to hear this song? Okay? This is the song, and anybody can help sing this song. In, out, deep, slow, calm, ease, smile, release, present moment, wonderful moment.

[16:07]

In, out, deep, slow, calm, ease, smile, release, present moment, wonderful moment. deep, slow, calm ease, smile release, present moment. Remember, hold your hand up when the sound ends. What did you notice?

[17:35]

What did you see? A person in the back put their hand up first. A person in the back put their hand up first? Okay. Is that how it went? Okay. And did you notice what happened when the bell rang? We were in the middle of the song? A bunch of people started putting their hands up. Yeah. And everybody stopped singing when the bell rang because Yeah, what did you notice? Yeah, so you saw all these fingers. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Great. Thank you. Okay, now, okay, and you want to have a seat? Thank you very much. You can keep ringing the bell every three minutes. I'm supposed to be talking for 10 minutes. It might turn into a long 10 minutes.

[18:38]

But I wanted to, that's a song by Thich Nhat Hanh. There's so much to think about when we think about kids in practice or family in practice You know, how does it work? Kids are pretty close to practice, or can be pretty close to practice, in ways that grown-ups can't. Because kids notice things. Kids notice a lot of things that grown-ups don't. So the question is, and grown-ups have a lot of experience that kids don't, so the question is, how can we help each other? How can we help each other be awake? So when you ring the bell or when you notice stuff, that's really important, because you do it in a way that grown-ups can't do.

[19:42]

Grown-ups can do different things. and kids can do different things, so thank you. I really appreciate your helping me with my practice. Now I want to tell you some stories about kids growing up and practice. Let's see. I'm looking for a particular story by by someone I know. Here we go. One morning as a young kid, the bigger kids waiting with me were particularly friendly. They had given me a chocolate chip cookie to bring to school. It was a giant one Oh boy, did I want that cookie. It was huge as it clunked about in my Incredible Hulk lunchbox.

[20:47]

But they said not to look at it. If you stick your head near the bell, it might still be making a sound. Is it? Little sound? Yeah. Yeah, tiny little sound? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, the other kid said not to look at the cookie until lunchtime.

[21:51]

This was a kid who was growing up at Green Gulch Farm. Anyway, because I had a cookie, that just made my day. The world was a happy place. Big kids were my best friends. School was fun. Dogs don't seem to be waiting to bite me. School bus isn't going to drive off a cliff after all. Even Brussels sprouts could be edible. Well, maybe not Brussels sprouts. And when you're a little kid and you have a giant chocolate chip cookie in your lunch pail, you're invincible. You're the Incredible Hulk. Nothing can bring you down when you're the owner of an enormous chocolate chip cookie. I know. Well, it becomes more complicated later on. Anyway, I'm sorry, this is a sad story. So he waited for lunch, and eagerly, glowing like a sweepstakes winner, a newlywed, a taker of saunas, I tore open my lunchbox like a Christmas gift and revealed the biggest, most gigantic dried cow pie in the entire universe, crumbling and flaking onto my carrot sticks, scattered over my peanut butter sandwich, contaminating my whole lunch.

[23:14]

I heaved the lunch pail to the ground. The sky went black with thunderclouds. The braying of a million dogs filled the schoolyard. Somewhere a school bus careened off a cliff. Lucy the cook was steaming up a gigantic pot of Brussels sprouts for dinner and eggplant ice cream for dessert. The big kids got me that day. But, oh well. Regardless of anything, anyway, he keeps talking about this. So that was an unhappy memory. But here's another happy memory of growing, here's a happy memory of growing up at Zen Center. Okay, and maybe this is the last little bit of kid's lecture. This is by Sarah Nancy Cutts Weintraub. And she grew up,

[24:15]

She's in her 20s now, and she just came back from two years in South America, in Colombia, where she was helping people with peace. Okay, this is a very small story. They asked her what was different about growing up with Zen practitioners for parents. So she said, my parents say some unusual things. For example, a few days ago, I pushed my little brother and pretended nothing happened. My mom, instead of saying, don't push your brother, or something like that, said, Okay, what would a Zen mom say?

[25:23]

Fill in the blanks. How did that feel? What would a Zen mom say? Anyone? You shouldn't do that? What would a Zen mom say? Zen moms? Zen moms, try not to do that anymore. Try not to do that anymore. Yeah, that's right. Anyone else? What was going on? What was going on? What else? What do Zen moms say? Okay, well, I'll tell you what that particular Zen mom said. Think about your state of mind when you push your brother. Here's another one. This is another Zen koan, family koan. I was about to eat my cornmeal and molasses when I noticed two brown dots on the edge near the side of the bowl.

[26:31]

Daddy, I said. What are those things? Okay, what did the Zen dad say? Part of a being. Wow! That is a great Zen answer. What else? What would a Zen dad say? What do you think it is? Okay, Zen dads? What would Zen dads say? What? Nothing? Opportunity to practice. Okay, you want to hear what this Zen dad said, Steve Weintraub, at that point? Those are the pre-voice of the 10,000 molasses. And then Davy, Sari's kid brother said, what is a pre-voice?

[27:37]

So my dad explained. There are 10,000 Sarah. and 10,000 Devi," he said. And then, you know what Devi said? Okay, what do you think Devi said? What would a Zen kid say if Dad said, there are 10,000 Sarah and 10,000 Devi?

[28:42]

There's 10,000 of you, what would? That's not true. That's not true? What do you think a Zen kid would say? Or even a kid? I don't believe you. I don't believe you? That's a good thing. Do you want to hear what Devi actually said? If I'm ten thousand, I don't have to be excused from the table. I'm out of here!" He jumped off his stool and put his head through the arm of my dad's vest and then he began dancing around the room. Okay, so that's the story. Okay, I think that we should stop kids' lecture now and do Dharma discussion with the grown-ups. How would that be? Okay? And if parents want to stay, or if kids want to stay, that's okay, but you don't have to stay. Okay? So, you guys decide.

[29:43]

Okay? Looks like you're going. Let's put the bell back. Thank you, Doan San. And the clock back. And you want to fluff up the cushions. because we put everything back the way it was. And let's bow to each other when you're ready. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Save some sunshine for us, okay? So that's Samantabhadra, Shining Practice Bodhisattva, which is very accessible to children. And as we grow up and become distracted by a lot of agendas and things that we have to do, sometimes Samantabhadra isn't as accessible to us.

[30:53]

But we can revive that, and I think particularly if we practice with children and with beginners who are new to the things that aren't so new to us, then we can find that heart and that mind which is fresh. This is why Suzuki Roshi wanted to practice so much with Americans. He said, beginner's mind. In the mind of an expert, there are few. You know, in a beginner's mind there are many possibilities, and in an expert's mind there are few. So that's why he wanted to practice with us, and that was a main part of his transmission, that there was vertical transmission from Buddha to Buddha, ancestor to ancestor, and to us, but also there's horizontal transmission in which each person, in his or her own condition, is already awake. and can bring up the whole teaching just by being in touch with what's happening right now.

[32:01]

And that's true of kids, and it's true of anybody. And if you notice, in our sanghas, sometimes there are people who aren't so included, or who aren't so readily apparent, don't feel as comfortable being in the Sangha as others, and notice those people because their experience will bring you beginner's mind and teach you where your habits are. So anyone have anything to say about anything we've done so far or any questions about Zen or anything? Oh, thank you.

[33:03]

He's a hero. You know, it's a wonderful day in the neighborhood. Yeah, he's a hero. Yeah, sorry he's not with us anymore. I would invite him to give a Dharma talk for us. Yeah, any questions, comments or anything? I've got more stories if you want to hear them too. There's lots of incredible stories that bring out what it's like to grow up at Zen Center and by reflection, what Berkeley Zen Center or San Francisco Zen Center is like as a community and as a social force. Do you want to hear a couple more stories? Oh, you have a question, yeah. I'm wondering about the genderless quality of responses to people's queries. Like, you were speaking about what would a Zen mom, how would a Zen mom respond, or how would a Zen dad, or how would a Zen child, and I'm curious about in our practice where our conditioning lies

[34:16]

Yeah, I said Zen mom and Zen dad because it was Linda and Steve in particular, because that's what the story was. But did you notice that those questions could have been either mom questions or dad questions? They didn't have, you know, it wasn't like the moms were talking about, oh, I don't know, makeup and stuff, and the dads were talking about responsibility. That wasn't what was happening. One was saying, one question was about pushing the brother, and another one was about stuff in the oatmeal. You know, so it's just stuff at the breakfast table. Was there more to the Lee story? Did that work for her? Yeah. Well, no, you know, this is a question, this is a story that Lee actually put in print, right? So she doesn't say anything about the other times.

[35:26]

But let's go to the rest of the story. Anyway, after singing in out five or six times, I found myself smiling. And I was content and grateful to be where I was. Jason watched with quiet curiosity. He saw me transforming my state of mind. Several weeks later, I overheard Jason trying to help Carol quiet down and perhaps go to sleep in her room. He was singing. In, out, deep, slow. I taught this song to two mothers with whom I participate in a mother's group. Neither of them practices Zen or Buddhist meditation. They told me that the song has become a part of their lives. One who has a four-year-old daughter told me that her daughter asks her to sing the song when she's out of control, crying, or deeply upset.

[36:30]

One night, when her mother wouldn't let her have a snack five minutes before dinner, she began to cry. Her crying built out of control. While she was sobbing at the table, she pleaded, Mommy, Mommy, sing this song. Her mother did, and gradually she was able to become calm. The song had become a tool which helped them both to seek comfort, even in the midst of conflict with each other, so that emotional distress moved to conscious breathing, to calm, and even to connection. My other friend's family has adopted the song to calm their six-month-old baby. Her four-year-old daughter and her husband both sing the song to the baby. The baby stops crying. Singing the song does not guarantee that the baby will stop crying, but it does provide us with the opportunity to remember and maintain calmness no matter what.

[37:36]

So Lee is really talking about practicing. And she's talking about it as a kind of pay it forward song. She's not going to necessarily get calm out of this song, but she uses it to remember that there's a possibility of calm. And sometimes I use it when I'm with my mother. My mother is in her 80s, but even before she was in her 80s, we had differences sometimes. And there was one trip in which, when she was still driving, I came to visit my mother, and she picked me up at the airport, and then we couldn't find the car. And we couldn't find it for a really long time. And this was JFK International Airport. And finally, we found the car.

[38:41]

And then, we got in the car, but then we started leaving the airport, and it was under construction, and she couldn't figure out how to leave. And she wasn't listening to reason, like, let's follow the detour signs and so on. She was just in the state of not being able to find the exit to the airport. You know what that's like. And so I was sitting there kind of gritting my teeth and bearing it. And then we got on the freeway, which is called a highway there, and she couldn't figure out which exit to take. And so we got to the exit, and then she realized when we were just about past it that it was the right exit. And so we were half on the freeway and half at the exit. We were going down the middle between the exit and the not-exit. And it was at that moment that I lost it completely.

[39:43]

And later, much, much later, I figured out that I had achieved 90 seconds of equanimity for every year of practice. And when that was done, there wasn't any more. So then I thought, well, is this my practice? No, that's not the practice of, you know, that's not, you know, like when you're responsible for practice, that's not practice. So later I was talking to Mel about something very similar to this and he just sat there quietly and then he looked at me and said, Vicki, what? I said, yes. But I was thinking, what? And then Mel said, could you find some way to let your life be a little less horrible?

[40:51]

And so tools like this song, it doesn't have to be a song, it can be anything. Later, you know, later I was able to edit it down to just the breath, one breath, take one breath. But tools like this song are really tools to stay with the moment until appreciation begins to come up. Sometimes it takes a long time because adrenaline takes a while to dissipate in the body. So it's better if you can catch it before or as the adrenaline is starting. Yeah? Thank you. Okay, got it. Okay, one more question? What did I do? Well, at that particular time, I didn't actually get it until almost the last day of my vacation.

[41:57]

Basically, I was grumpy and uncommunicative for days after that. I was trying not to be, but I wasn't succeeding very well. But then one morning I realized, oh, I'm being grumpy and uncommunicative and blaming my mother for having been confused. That's not exactly what I want to do in this life. And so I sat with that and the irritation gradually dissolved as I stopped holding it. it dissolved. And I was able to be with my mother and appreciate her in that moment. And my mother is so much more than my moment of irritation, and may not be here very long.

[42:59]

And everybody is like that. Everybody may not be here very long, or we may not meet each other again. Shining practice is about understanding that every moment is imperfect and understanding that if we stay with that moment just as it is, that we find the perfection. And the pain or the difficulty becomes like the leading in a stained glass window that allows the beautiful colors to shine. So maybe that's enough this morning and we can go out to where the sun is shining and have some tea and be with each other as a community. Thank you.

[43:52]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ