and then go over it again phrase by phrase or something, maybe something like that. Study the Buddha and research his lineage's subtlety. You must clarify your heart, dive into the spirit, and silently wander in contemplation apprehending the Dharma source. Without pettiness or weaving hairs to create an obstacle, be magnanimous beyond appearances. Splendid and lustrous like the water's moistening autumn, noble like the moon, overwhelming the darkness. From the beginning, just beam through all the gloom, profoundly free from stain. Constantly still and constantly glorious, the stillness is not extinguished by causes.

[01:07]

The glory is not marred by shadows. Vacant, round, and pure, the empty kalpa will not shift, shake, or obscure this source. Able to be serene and able to know, here you can walk securely. The jade vessel turns over on its side, at once dispensing energy for you to return, share yourself, and respond to the world. In this realm are the separate, limited forms, but all are only what the self establishes, arising along with our own four elements. How could there be an obstruction? Since this mind is entirely without obstruction, there is no difference between that one and me. Self and other are not separated by their names.

[02:09]

Sounds and colors crowd in together, carefree and transcendent, directly leaping into each other. So it is said that mountains and rivers are not separated. You should embody this like the brightness apparent everywhere. so So this first line, clarify your heart, dive into the spirit, and silently wander in contemplation apprehending the Dharma source.

[03:11]

I don't know how many of you have clarified butter before, or ghee, but you throw the butter in a pot, melt it down, and the milk solids settle at the bottom, and the butterfat rises to the top. And then you scoop off the butterfat, and what's left is a beautiful, clear, yellow liquid. So I keep that in mind when I think about clarifying my heart. We recently had a break. We always break every year, sort of. We're still open between mid-December and New Year's Eve. And I spent this time clarifying my heart or renewing my intention, which I do every year, it seems, without some intention to do so. It's just what happens for me when I take a break. So during the winter months, things are kind of stark and bleak and chilly.

[04:20]

But underneath all that, the great life force is preparing for spring and already I've noticed some tips of daffodils springing up out of the earth and the trees are starting to bud already. So there's this tremendous energy going on even though our surroundings look kind of somber. So it's a good time to contemplate, maybe spend some time alone to see what it is that is stagnating within us or remove the decay, things that aren't working anymore for us. And then resolve to not let those things come back.

[05:26]

So I spent some time contemplating this, and among other things, what I decided was I needed to cancel my cell phone subscription. So I called up Sprint, and I said, I would like to cancel my subscription. And of course, they wanted to know why I wanted to do that. I said, I spend too much time on the phone. So they said, oh, you have overages? Well, we can give you more minutes for the same price you're paying now. And it was kind of hard to get across that I didn't want more. I wanted less. And I wanted less for less, only Apparently, there aren't any less-for-less offers. There's only more-for-less offers.

[06:30]

So this is interesting, I think, that this is really the way of the world these days. And just, you know, massive consumerism. And it's just... We use so much and waste so much and I think it's really important to take a good look at that once in a while. So we can consider what it is that isn't working for us anymore and just wriggle out of it like a snake shedding its skin. So it seems that before we can dive into the spirit we need to clarify our heart.

[07:35]

We don't know what we want to do if we're kind of wobbly. I don't know if I want to go to Zazen or do yoga. It's very hard to dive into the spirit unless you're a certain kind of person. I think certain kinds of people can really dive into the spirit of a lot of things, but you have to be careful of making some kind of, what Sojon Roshi one time said, some kind of sticky confection. It's like, add a little of this, add a little of that, mix it up, and you just have this, just the right thing. A little yoga, a little of this, a little of that. So we have to be careful about making those kinds of concoctions with our lives. So the next line is, without pettiness or weaving hairs to create an obstacle, be magnanimous beyond appearances.

[08:46]

So it's normal to have strong feelings and impulses And when we get attached to them or get pushed and pulled around by them, that's when we start creating problems for ourselves and for other people. And when we do Zazen, if you think about it, we sit down for 40 minutes to an hour back straight, chin in, ears over our shoulders, nose in line with our navel. We're not really doing exactly what we want to do for an hour or 40 minutes. We're just paying attention to our breath, paying attention to posture. And often we get off our cushions and we just go back to doing whatever we want to do.

[09:53]

So, zazen can help us contain ourselves. Sometimes we resent having to contain ourselves. Why do I have to be so careful all the time? Why can't I stand on the meal board? Why do we hit this morning? I was thinking, as a matter of fact, this is an awful lot of bowing when I was doing service, because I've been under the weather. I really haven't been back until the last day or so, but it really seemed like up and down and up and down this morning. So there is this way where we have all these forms, we have the precepts, we have the Eightfold Path, the Four Noble Truths, that all of this can seem like walking on eggshells.

[11:06]

Oh, you make me feel like I have to walk on eggshells. But if you read the sutras, often the Buddha way, following the Buddha way is called walking on tiptoe. Just being very careful, being very attentive to what we're actually doing. So we can bring our zazen practice into every moment of our life. How we set our cup down, how we place our shoes, how we walk on the earth, on Mother Earth, feeling our feet, meeting the ground, and the attitude or our approach to our lives.

[12:16]

One time the work leader was giving us some instruction during the work meeting. She said, if you see a piece of paper on the ground, pick it up. That might sound like something really simple, but you know, that is just really profound. Because in that moment, what needs to be done is to pick up the piece of paper. That's it. That's being aware, paying attention, doing what needs to be done, taking care of what's right under your nose. And then she went on to say, if you see something that needs doing, do it. And that's really a wonderful way to be in your life and practice together. This next segment explains itself.

[13:27]

Splendid and lustrous like the water's moistening autumn. Noble like the moon overwhelming the darkness. From the beginning, just beam through all the gloom, profoundly free from stain. In other words, don't let things get to you. Constantly still and constantly glorious, the stillness is not extinguished by causes. The glory is not marred by shadows. This reminded me of, excuse me a minute, a wonderful article I read recently on Martin Luther King Jr., whose Martin Luther King Day is this month, I think. And it was entitled, All We Need Is Love.

[14:30]

And this excerpt is from one of his favorite sermons. And he talks about this thing called the drum major instinct. There is, deep down within all of us, an instinct. It's a kind of drum major instinct, a desire to be out front, a desire to lead the parade, a desire to be first. And it is something that runs a whole gamut of life. We all want to be important, to surpass others, to achieve distinction, to lead the parade. Alfred Adler, the great psychoanalyst, contends that this is the dominant impulse, this desire for attention. Now in adult life, we still have it, and we never really get by it.

[15:32]

We like to do something good, and you know, we like to be praised for it. But there comes a time when the drum major instinct can become destructive. This is called the glory being marred by shadows. And that's where I want to move now. Do you know that a lot of the race problem grows out of the drum major instinct, a need that some people have to feel superior? Nations are caught up with the drum major instinct. I must be first. I must be supreme. Our nation must rule the world. But let me rush to my conclusion. Don't give up. Keep feeling the need for being important. Keep feeling the need for being first. But I want you to be first in love. I want you to be first in moral excellence. I want you to be first in generosity. That's what I want you to do. I find that after some years of practicing zazen, there is this kind of energy, kind of confidence, kind of assuredness of being that can kind of slip into arrogance or forgetting others, forgetting to help people.

[17:22]

being kind of bossy. So this kind of energy you have to be careful with because if you can't take responsibility for it, it's easy to misuse. If you can't acknowledge that you have it, you can't really be responsible for it. So, Sojourner Roshileli has been suggesting to some of us that we ask for some feedback. And so I invite you, if there's any feedback you would like to give me, I'm open to hearing it. And when Karen Dikotis was visiting, she taught me a practice that they do where she is in Montana at the ashram, which is receiving.

[18:38]

They're not much into nonviolent communication and such. They're into just trusting the process. And of course, you know, be kind. Kindness shouldn't undercut what you're really trying to get across to somebody, how you're experiencing them. So there are all these things in place that we use like using I statements and nonviolent communication, but those things can also be used as I found through experience as kind of defense mechanisms too. So if you want to practice those things, just practice them truly, not to protect yourself or to kind of get the best of somebody. So I think we can ask each other for feedback.

[20:15]

And if you want to, you could say, is it OK if I give you some feedback? I would think of it more as instruction, like Hongju's practice instruction. And if the person doesn't want to hear it, just drop it, because they're not ready to hear it. But in any case, our approach to each other, in order to cultivate a harmonious place to practice and plant seeds of goodness for the world, we should always approach each other with kindness and with gentleness. And even if you're just very friendly, you know, there's so many people who come here and we all kind of look the same on the outside, but it's hard to tell what's going on inside.

[21:25]

So in this place, I think we have to be careful whether we think we're being friendly or not with how we are with others. contain ourselves a little bit. This one time I was walking down Adeline Street and I saw a woman walking and she had, in every other way she looked normal but she had painted her face with a face that was, I think, revealing what was inside of her, and it was just an utterly grief-stricken, desperate expression she had painted onto her face. It was really shocking to see. And I guess the way she was or her features could not express that fully, I think, so she had to paint it on.

[22:33]

because she wanted others to know what was really going on with her. So you never know really what's going on with people, so it's good to have a gentle approach. Vacant, round, and pure, the empty kalpa will not shift, shake, or obscure this source. Able to be serene and able to know, here you can walk securely. The jade vessel turns over on its side, at once dispensing energy for you to return, share yourself, and respond to the world.

[23:47]

The jade vessel is our pure enlightened mind, cool jade green mind. And to share yourself means to have your own authority, being authentic, being your own boss, and being able to know how to respond each moment to someone or something that's going on. Would anyone else like to say something?

[25:10]

Ed. Thank you for your talk. I enjoyed it very much. And as a part of the beginning of the talk, I keep on thinking about, I think it was that you said, dive into your spirit. Dive into this spirit. Well, I'm giving the talk today. I don't know what you're doing. Do you have, do you want to say how you, did you have some thought about how you dive into the spirit or?

[26:30]

It's a nice, nice image. Giving the talk today. I think some people know this. I don't mind giving talks, but it's not my favorite thing to do. So I just do it and try to enjoy myself. I think getting clear about what you want to do with your life and doing that, doing what you love, doing what inspires you, being around people who are who you enjoy being around and being honest and forthright and all those things.

[27:32]

I think Nancy had her hand up. Yeah, I was... When you said... I'm sorry, I'm not going to be saying it as well as you, but something about Letting go of things that aren't working anymore. My reaction, just my own personal chewing on my own life. I don't know how to get rid of what's not working. Maybe more than other people I have this problem. It seems like everything works sometimes. Anyway, can you expound on that? I almost understand what it does for you, but... Do you have any bad habits? Goodness, no. Your bad habits may keep you from diving into the spirit.

[28:43]

My New Year's resolution was no foul language. I broke it about seven times. Anyway. That's pretty good. Thank you. Yes, you can see this. Hi. Go ahead. Well, I like your image of the snake. to let go of bad habits, but the image of snake just does it naturally. It changes naturally. Instead of the image of something really hard to overcome. So I like that image. Okay. And the trees drop their leaves and, you know, blossoms burst forth and then they fall away. Yeah. really natural process.

[30:04]

Hi. I looked straight at you when I said something I thought you weren't going to like. It's beginning when you were quoting from the book you were reading the words that like the luminous moon and unstainable light and how could there ever be an obstruction and the source is always there. It's always sourcing. And I was thinking that I have a memory of knowing that, even being present in such an experience that might produce words like that.

[31:12]

But many other moments, such as the current I don't really feel like I can see that unsustainable, ever-present, unobstructable source. So how can your describing it help me? I don't think it can help you. I don't think you have to feel it all the time. Oh, I'm lucky I have a memory of it even. and bumble bumble along. Yeah, I think you are lucky. Happy New Year, Linda. I really love your statement about punching the other gentle.

[32:18]

respecting myself, what I really have to say. I love what you said about nonviolent communication. It's something that I've been playing with as a tool, especially in stating very clearly what I want and just recognizing that it can be a tool that you misuse or don't use in the best way. Thank you. Alan, Ozan, did you? I'm just remembering the story. It's hard for us a lot.

[34:03]

Yeah, I agree. It can be difficult. Stephanie. Hi Mark Boydstiff, so nice to see you taking advantage of being able to talk. Something triggered some thoughts in my mind about diving into the spirit, which is saying Zazen every day.

[35:04]

Often when I sit, I have to be very careful not to judge it, because it's not what I want. But after I stand up and move into the world, the world reveals itself in a way that I couldn't imagine. If I don't sit, that doesn't seem to happen. By taking that step, the world meets me in a way that it wouldn't happen otherwise. Something like that. It's kind of hard to encapsulate in thought exactly what's happened. But I know if I sit with faith, It doesn't seem like it works, it does work.

[36:15]

It's kind of confusing that way. Yeah, I agree with you. It's better not to start if you don't want to get into that. Because I think once you do experience, as Linda was saying, or Alan, once you do experience that, it just kind of is self-perpetuating. You want to be able to meet the world. Yeah. It's really nice to see you. I'm not sure what time it is. Okay, good. Thank you for coming.

[36:50]

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